The Reality of Perfectionism in Legal Practice

"Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it's a shield." Brene Brown

There's a pervasive expectation that lawyers should be perfect.

We're not supposed to make mistakes. Ever.

No errors in judgment.

Everything must be flawless - from the way we work to the way we conduct ourselves.

Most of us have been this way for longer than we can remember, but we don't really understand why.

The reason why you're a perfectionist is because of fear.

You think if you don’t do things perfectly something bad will happen.

Let's go back to when we were young...

When you're a kid you're scared look stupid because you think other kids will make fun of you.

And, when it comes to school you'd better make all A's, or else your parents will be furious.

When you went to law school, it simply reinforced it all.

The harder you work, the greater the reward. They put you on law review where you get to work even more.

As a lawyer, it's more of the same.

Clearly, we want attorneys to be excellent at what they do, but the expectation that lawyers should be robotic examples of perfection is impractical.

What happens when we hold ourselves to impossible expectations?

Attorneys are quitting the profession in droves because we simply can't continue to hold ourselves to such unattainable standards.

The ones who stay are unfocused and unmotivated.

They're losing sleep worrying about how much they have to do and how they're going to do it right.

What I see most often is that lawyers aren't taking care of themselves.

You're so focused on putting out other people's fires that you don't smell the one burning inside your own home.

As a result, you're not eating right or forgetting to eat at all.

You're not getting enough sleep.

You're not exercising.

And, you're definitely not resting.

So, what is perfect?

At some point, you decided to look outside yourself to determine what's right, and in the process, you decided you weren't enough.

You spent your life striving to become whatever your idea of perfection is.

Maybe it's based on your parents or something you saw on TV.

As Brene Brown says, the quest for perfection is not necessarily the quest to be the best version of yourself.

You've spent a lifetime running from the fear that you're not good enough.

What if you could spend the rest of your time resting with the idea that you are perfect, and you don't have to try anymore?

When you open up to the possibility that you don't have to meet an unattainable ideal, there will suddenly be so many more opportunities available to you.