A Reality Check on Which Reality We're Living In

For all the benefits social media has brought to our lives since it took over the world, one aspect of this virtual reality world is somewhat of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The inherent problem with social media, in particular mediums such as Snapchat and Instagram, is that they essentially manipulate us as human beings to think that it is more desirable to live in someone else's reality than that of our own.

That is a dangerous precedent to set. Let’s put our phones down for a few minutes (unless you’re reading this on one) and decompose why this is…

Firstly, let’s ask ourselves, do we have family, friends and/or acquaintances currently in a rut, genuinely discontent with their life and the path they’re on? I would assume most reading this would say yes.

I believe a contributing factor to the aforementioned is that we as a society place too much emphasis on living vicariously through other people, via social media, rather than through the view we were born with - that being our own two eyes. A view that is unique to every person on the planet! Yet to many, it is just not quite enough.

Day-in, day-out, a lot of individuals are far too immersed and in awe of stardom, populism, manicured beauty, and fictitious accounts of what “life” is like. There are no filters in real life. There is just the present moment and the gift of being able to soak up the experience, understandably some parts more palatable than others.

Is it cool that social media apps allow us to share our experiences with important people in our lives? Absolutely! Not to mention, it is interesting to catch the odd glimpse into what life is like as a professional athlete, rockstar, Hollywood actor/actress, you name it. But herein lies the issue, these “published” snapshots in time often skip over the ugly parts and sacrifices it took one to get there. Then put a [insert favorite Instagram] filter to cover up any insecurities or blemishes and top it off with a fancy caption that probably doesn’t capture their actual headspace at the time.

Many humans see these portrayed lifestyles and luxuries, then instantly compare it with their current view [bathroom stall at work, family room at home, public transit, etc]. Cue the vicious cycle…

Is it not ironic that when we were kids and had nothing but a piggy bank with $27.59 in nickels and dimes, mismatching socks, and Lego blocks, we were actually much happier people? While you can make the argument that it was because we hadn’t matured enough and were sheltered from the “real world”, the point is simple.

We didn’t have social media. The only thing we knew was to live, breathe and embrace our own reality.

We built tree forts. Played house. Organized road hockey with our block of kids. Went to the park. Rode our bikes up and down ravine trails and quenched our thirst with slurpees. The list goes on…

Could this be our reality as grown ups? No. But the underlying values can absolutely be assimilated as adults!

For example, on Halloween weekend this year, I went out to my cabin (solo) and went off the grid. I texted a few friends on Friday night that I would be shutting my phone off for the weekend (highly recommended once in a while by the way) and if they needed to get a hold of me, they could call me on our landline. Straight out of the 90’s? Pretty much.

To an outsider or someone reading this article at face value, they might say “Wow Mike, that’s kind of a lame weekend. Spending it by yourself with no social media or ability to text. You could be going to Halloween parties, drinking, living it up as a 26 year old.” Well, contrary to that train of thought, it was actually one of my favorite weekends of 2016.

I took a true step towards being genuinely more content with my current reality. I stayed true to my No Bullshit November post, which is very much a self improvement initiative. I didn’t drink alcohol, ate healthy meals, read, wrote, listened to podcasts, worked out, jumped in the freezing cold lake, all things that have nothing to do with anyone’s reality but that of my own. And I loved and embraced every minute of it!

This isn’t to say that my reality is any better or worse than anyone else's. It is to say that I am learning to embrace my own and not get so caught up in that of others.

Taking steps to understand one’s self and reflect on the many facets of life is hugely underrated and underutilized in my humble opinion. Taking time to be alone is not and should not be synonymous with loneliness, contrary to popular opinion. As Bruce Lee said, “To become different from what we are, we must have some awareness of what we are… Yet it is remarkable that the very people who are most self-dissatisfied and crave most for a new identity have the least self-awareness. They have turned away from an unwanted self and hence never had a good look at it. The result is that those most dissatisfied can neither dissimulate nor attain a real change of heart.” – Bruce Lee

For the record, I am a current user of Instagram and once upon a time, was a big fan of Snapchat while attending university. To be clear, I am not unabashedly vilifying these two apps or social media in general. Social media has changed the world for the better in many ways! Personally, it has helped me initiate and nurture a great deal of personal and professional relationships overcoming vast geographical barriers. But as this sort of technology evolves and becomes overbearing at times, there are negative aspects that we must be cognizant of.

No different than anything else. Too much of anything is never a good thing and as it pertains to social media, it is just as slippery of a slope.

As Baz Luhrmann famously sang in Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen, “Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself.”

With that in mind, who’s winning that race? You or the outside world?

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If you liked what you read, you can check out more of my published headspace at www.mikesmailbag.org.