The Reality Of Being A Leader - What We Know But Don't Talk About

I was leading a group of Leaders today, and we discussed some of their challenges.

Again and again, we kept coming across problems that didn't seem to have great solutions.

Sometimes, that is how Leadership is.

Many people want to become Leaders for a variety of reasons.

Power.

Recognition.

To Help Others.

To Create Solutions.

Some of these reasons are bad.

Other reasons are great.

Regardless of why people choose to become a Leader (or are pushed into it), there are Realities we must face.

There are times when there are no "good" solutions, especially when it comes to challenges around personnel.

Now, there are "infinite" solutions that exist to all problems, but we don't always get a full say on whether a solution works or not.

Many solutions that exist require multiple people to work.

Sometimes, there are individuals who don't want to participate in that work.

Some of them have all the potential in the world.

Some of them are too stressed out in other parts of their lives.

Some people only care about a paycheck.

Even in some extreme cases, some people do indeed want to see organizations burn - it's called Active Disengagement.

What happens when we are prevented from our goals by others?

It's a challenging spot for any Leader, and at the end of the day is also inevitable.

It doesn't matter how talented you are.

It doesn't matter how personable you are.

It doesn't matter if your Psychophysiology is excellent.

It doesn't matter if you are the Smartest person in the world.

It doesn't matter if you have the highest Emotional Intelligence in the world.

It doesn't matter how much power you have.

It doesn't matter that you have the ability to fire people.

It doesn't matter if your Why is impactful and world-changing.

You could do everything that every book, course, teacher, coach, mentor, or counselor ever tells you.

It still doesn't matter.

People are people.

You cannot make everyone happy.

You cannot force people to do work.

You cannot always get people to participate in the team.

You cannot get everyone to feel positive about you or your organization.

You cannot fix every problem that occurs in the lives of others.

We live in a world where things are never perfect, no matter how hard we try or wish it to be otherwise.

If we want to have larger impacts, we need to have larger teams.

The larger our teams become, the more difficult everything becomes.

The more difficult it is, the more likely you will be to find people who provide these challenges.

So, what do we do as Leaders in these situations?

Whatever we are able.

Start with seeing why they don't seem to want to participate.

It could be you haven't given them proper instruction (remember, everyone learns differently, so you may need to change your style).

It could be that they don't fully understand what is expected of them (this is extremely common - we "assume" people know, but they don't).

Maybe they are having other challenges in their life making it difficult to engage at work (can you help them find resources?).

You may also need to have consistency.

Sometimes people are slow to change, but keeping consistency eventually indicates to them that change is needed.

Remember, it takes 66 Days on average for a Habit to form, so consistency needs to be long-term.

Then, you also need to document.

Always document.

"I taught this thing, and this is how I taught them, on this date".

"Here is the second time, in this way, on this date".

"This is the third time, a third way, on this date".

Eventually, this does a few things.

It can open up further conversations - "Hey, we have worked on this thing 3 times, but it still seems like a challenge. Is there something I'm doing wrong?"

It allows you to potentially see patterns of your own flaws - "Hey, I see every time I teach this person, I do it this way, maybe I should try it a new way?"

It also allows you to go to others, whether a higher leader, a mentor, a coach, or someone similar, and say - "I've tried all these different things, but nothing seems to work. Can I get another perspective from you?"

Then, if nothing continues to work over a long period of time, it gives you all the evidence you need to let the individual go.

Some Leaders don't like this, but it is an inevitability we may have to face.

(Other Leaders love this part, which I never understood, but we've all got our things).

This is a part of Leadership that we typically shy away from and don't like to talk about, but it is reality.

The sooner we face reality, the better we can make our organizations.

The sooner we face reality, the faster we will grow as Leaders.