Support the troops? Support their families. Think before you share.

To my friends whose partners, parents or children wear this [ ???? ] on their gear - I’m with you.

Whether you’re early in your service or you’ve been doing this for years, it is never easy –and no one, unless they’ve experienced it themselves, will ever understand what it is a military family goes through.

We bite our tongues. A lot. We bloody our mouths we bite so hard.

We avoid social platforms because the people we are connected with are flooding our feed with news to them, but with reminders that shit is scary for us.

We are overwhelmed by the “just checking on you” and the “is this near [service member name here]?” - and sometimes, when we say “thanks for checking” we really mean something else entirely.

We are just trying to keep it together for our family, and often break down when we finally have a moment to ourselves.

We are trying to run our businesses, show up for work, get our kids off to school...when what we really want to do is bury our heads in the pillow and cry.

My husband is home. As a military wife and mother to two toddlers, I am painfully aware that can change at any time with no warning. The not knowing kills us every second of every day.

Many of my friends partners, children are right in the thick of what’s going on right now. They may be close by, they may have changed course, they may be on the same continent, or are on alert that they could deploy soon.

And while I never noticed it pre-military life, some of the people who claim to care for us and support are really causing us the most anxiety.

So, all this to say...

Even if you’re without a service member in your immediate household - I guarantee you’re connected to someone who has one in theirs.

Be aware of the ripple effect. Of what you share, of how you comment. Of how you speak about what’s going on overseas, the state of politics, who you do and don’t support.

Awareness. Empathy. Humanity. Great words to keep in mind during this season of uncertainty.

Nikki James Zellner is a US Navy spouse, military spouse entrepreneurship advocate and founder of Where Content Connects – a boutique content consultancy helping professionals and brands share their authentic stories.