Be a realistic optimist

In a test conducted by psychologist Gabriele Oettingen, she asked women enrolled in a weight-loss program how likely they were to lose weight. From the responses and results, she discovered that women who believed that they would lose weight, lost more weight than women who doubted that they would lose weight.

Also, during the test Oettingen asked the women to tell her what they imagined the road to success would be like – if they thought they would have a hard time resisting temptation or if they’d have no problem turning down a tempting treat. And she found that the women who thought they would have a tough time fighting temptation, actually lost more weight than women who thought that they would easily lose weight and could easily turn down temptations.

So, what do Oettingen’s test results mean to us and our goals? They indicate that the best predictor of individual’s success is whether they believe they will succeed. However, they also show that belief alone is not sufficient to ensure success.

Why does this belief that you will succeed lead to success? The explanation lies in the fact that to reach a goal, you need to act. You need to be doing things. Action equals results and no action equals failure. The optimism and the confidence generated by your belief, creates and sustains the motivation you need to take the actions required to reach your goals.

But that belief alone isn’t enough and it is easy to see why. The road to any worthwhile goal will have obstacles and setbacks. Overcoming them requires planning, effort and persistence. If you had only optimism and were oblivious to the difficulties that lie ahead, then obstacles and setbacks that come up will crush your motivation and prevent you from taking steps to achieve your goals. On the other hand, if you think of obstacles and setbacks that will occur, you will plan to overcome them. Not only that, the awareness of challenges will generate confidence to overcome obstacles and motivate you to act.

As you can see, there is a difference between believing you will succeed and believing you will succeed easily. That’s the difference between being an optimist and a realistic optimist.

Realistic optimists believe that success results from effort, careful planning, persistence and choosing the right strategies. They identify obstacles that they may have to face and make plans to overcome them. This increases their confidence in their abilities and helps them act. Also believing that the road to success is rocky leads realistic optimists do more, carry out more actions that will eventually lead to success.

Unrealistic optimists believe success will happen to them. They believe that the universe will help them succeed if they just believe that they will succeed. That’s far from the truth. Don’t buy into that. Instead, cultivate realistic optimism by combining a positive attitude with an honest assessment of the challenges that await you. And leverage the optimism and attitude to take actions that will lead you to your goals.

To succeed don’t just visualize success. Visualize the steps that you need to take to succeed. Visualize the obstacles and setbacks that will appear. This will increase your chances of success.

So how do we take advantage of the above and how can we use it to succeed? Here are some tips on how you can implement realistic optimism in your life:

1.      Increase confidence by thinking of your past successes. Think of goals that you achieved and obstacles that you overcame. You can even indulge in some if-then thinking. For e.g. if I feel jittery, then I will think of the time that I gave a flawless speech. Increased confidence will motivate you to act, and action is the key to success.

2.      To keep your optimism realistic, think about obstacles and setbacks that you will have to face. Also visualize how you will overcome these obstacles and develop realistic plans that will help you achieve your goal. This way, you will be aware of the obstacles and will be confident of overcoming them and attaining your goal and you won’t be blindsided by them.

Halvorson, Heidi Grant. Nine Things Successful People Do Differently. Harvard Business Review Press. Kindle Edition.