Will the real Wilderness Program please stand up.

Sent in response to USA Today article against wilderness treatment by a family.

This family gave the program, Second Nature, the freedom to share this letter who encouraged those it was shared with to do the same, thus I wanted to share it with you all: Journalists of a national, highly esteemed newspaper enjoy the privilege of telling complex stories that have the power to influence lives. Quality journalism involves a balanced narrative, representing all sides of a story, inviting the reader to draw their own conclusion. I feel impassioned to express a different viewpoint on the Wilderness Therapy article printed in USA Today on December 8th.?Wilderness therapy has left people terrified, traumatized. What is it? (usatoday.com)

From a parent:

My heart goes out to the girl that was interviewed and others mentioned. Yet, there are thousands of success stories of adolescents who have also experienced this type of immersive therapy. My daughter is one of those. Publishing a quote saying wilderness doesn’t work for 99% of participants is simply inaccurate. While I cannot speak for every Wilderness Therapy program, I can for Second Nature. In short, the incredible staff, her willingness, and the program itself saved our daughter’s life and put our broken family pieces back together in the most tender of ways. There are many nuances, layers and complexities to what Wilderness Therapy provides and to simplify it to being “bad” or a fad that parents are choosing after a difficult outcome from the pandemic seems to be short-sighted. The true pandemic is that our kids ARE suffering on epidemic levels. Traditional models of counseling don’t seem to be adequate in the face of what our kids are dealing with. Wilderness Therapy is designed to take you out of your comfort zone, which is always where true and lasting growth happens. It challenges, simplifies life and quiets the mass amount of noise that no child, nor adult were ever intended to digest on the mass levels we are all experiencing. It sets the scene to drop down from the head to the heart. Teaches how to go from surviving to survival. It develops grit, resilience, introduces them to their own power and how to use that for good instead of destruction. It ushers them to reconnect/rediscover themselves apart from toxic input and environments. These are learnings and connections that research shows are most effectively attained (and most sustainable) in a therapeutic wilderness environment.?

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The article mentioned that Wilderness Therapy was supposed to help, but instead it traumatized. What about the daily trauma that my daughter experienced at a highly rated, highly affluent high school? Kids are unregulated, emotionally unstable and confused. Without being taught coping skills for their emotions, fears, and feelings, adolescents are becoming more symptomatic everyday. The risky behaviors that teens experience are on levels like no other time in history; drug and alcohol abuse, an increase in suicide, teenage sex/ pregnancy, depression, social media/gaming addictions, identity confusion, and most obvious of all – school shootings. Our daughter lost her sense of self and was living in a constant state of fight, flight or freeze. We, in turn lost all influence as parents overtime and were living in deep fear that we may lose her forever. Yes, we read everything about Wilderness Therapy – the good, the bad, the “Paris Hilton” syndrome. Yet, we had exhausted all the traditional methods, and needed something radically different. After several connective and supportive conversations with the admissions director, Jennifer Cherrier, we made the drastic decision to pull her out of school and enroll her at Second Nature.?

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While “sending her away” is the term that many people use, the lens we instead see it through is that we offered her the gift of taking a break from the world so she could catch her breath. We allowed her a safe space where she had permission to slow down, detox emotionally, let go of the striving, be in the company of others who were honest in their sufferings, and put the pressures of life and social circles aside so she could separate and remember who she is. As we made the trek to Second Nature with just the clothes on her back, we battled all the “what if’s” any parent would. What if she never talks to us again? What if she is cold? What if this is the wrong decision? And on the flip-side, we had even more “What If’s” such as what if she didn’t get relief from the environment she was drowning in? We chose to tell her the night before she left. At the thought of it, yes - she was upset. It didn’t help that so called friends were sending her all the types of articles such as the one you published to warn her of where she was going. It was unknown and something that she had no construct to understand. She was scared, but she was more scared to continue on as she was. Through tears, she said, “Just give me time to process this - there is a huge part of me that actually wants to go”. That is the key. Wanting something different, embracing it and being open to the change.?

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Week after week we received letters from our daughter that was full of gratitude for the safe container she had been given. She was able to see clearly and truly feel remorse for who she became, and grieved over the parts of herself she had abandoned. What she never owned before Wilderness was the impact her decisions and behavior had on our whole family. She cried healthy tears over the chaos that was caused because she simply didn't know how, nor had the strength to stop it all. At Wilderness Therapy she was absolutely with kids who were suffering, and could have been a danger to themselves and to others. I see no difference of being in that type of group there vs. at school - except that they were taught by the amazing field guides, staff, counselors and from one another (who were further on their journey) on how to be authentic, radically honest, own their emotions, and work through inner and outer conflict in a healthy way. They eventually learned how to carry one another through their pain instead of using their pain against each other. “This place is “bougie and the food is gas!” Her humor came alive, the joy emanated from every weekly letter we received. The presence, care and gratitude she expressed for being there, for the staff who dedicated their lives and left their own families on a weekly basis to walk side by side with her, for us, and for her brothers was tangible. She went from a hollowed shell of herself to asking curious questions about our lives. It was nothing short of amazing to observe her discover her own strength, resilience and capability.?

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Did she sleep on a ground? Were her shoes taken at night (for her own protection)? Were there cold nights? Did she pee behind a tarp? Did she only take one billy bath a week? Were there miles and miles that she had to hike with all of her belongings on her back? Did she have to dig a hole to poop in? Was she challenged to bust a fire with only sticks and rocks to the point of tears? Was she expected to sit and communicate her feelings and vulnerably, courageously own her judgements? Was she encouraged to be emotionally honest in a group? Was she required to listen to and give feedback? Did she work hard at school assignments? Was she dirtier than she ever has been? Did she get sun poisoning on her hands and have to learn how to protect her skin to the exposed elements? Did she have to cook meals and clean dishes with dirt? Did she sit in the discomfort of not knowing how long she would be there? Did she confront feelings and emotions she numbed herself out to before? Did she put her trust into complete strangers? YES. AND.... She was content. She felt joy. She was proud of herself. The physical discomforts paled in comparison to the emotional abuse and lack of safety she felt at school. She was cared for on immense levels by staff. We were cared for on immense levels by staff. Calling them “staff” feels too formal, and distant. They were and continue to be more like heroes that took over where we no longer had the capability nor the capacity to do so. They were our coaches, encouragers, and lovingly challenged. Months after our daughter has been home, they are still available and here for us guiding the way. I know for a fact that we are not alone in feeling lost as parents. We all don’t really know what we are doing. But, instead of powering up in our powerlessness, we instead reached out, took the help, and humbly confronted uncomfortable feelings, emotions and habits to help us get to the other side of connection with our child. While our daughter was in Utah for 10 weeks, we as parents went through our own therapeutic journey, helping to create a healthier, more supportive family environment for her to return to.?

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There are too many complexities and layers at work here to have written such a strongly slanted article in USA Today that labels Wilderness Therapy the way it was portrayed. Journalists have great influence and power. A sacred responsibility of sorts. I want to encourage you to be accountable to a level of integrity in your craft and profession. Even though we had a restorative experience, the article published made even us feel full of fear as I can imagine it did for most who read it. What about the parents who may have been considering Wilderness Therapy for their child who read your article? What if, like our daughter, Wilderness might have been the transformational step in healing for their child, yet are now scared away? I invite you to consider more than just one side of the prism of the topic you choose to write about. Be good journalists. Stay true to the integrity of your craft. Second Nature and every person there, helped to put our family back together again. It was the best investment we ever made. We believe we and thousands of other families have “newsworthy” stories of hope and healing that originated from the very organizations you criticized. Thanks for hearing a different side of the story and please remember that perception is everything.

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This is such a beautifully written narrative and speaks to what I believe 95+% of the families that I have go to wilderness therapy experience.