Real Talk: Mental Health, My Story, and Practical Advice

According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, an estimated 26% of Americans aged 18 years and older (about 1 in 4 adults) suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder each year. According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control and Prevention), approximately 46% of people who die by suicide had a known mental health condition.

Why do I bring this up? For two reasons. First, because my friends and I have lost many loved ones to suicide stemming from mental health disorders. I'd like to prevent more losses if I can. Second, I have personally experienced a debilitating mental health condition and I'd like to share what helped me to slowly pull out of it and get back to a point of "high functioning". If my story can help even one person avoid the rabbit hole of self-destruction, this communication will be well worth it.

To provide perspective, I'll quickly share what contributed to my fast spiral into anxiety, depression, and subsequent hallucinations and delusions nearly 10 years ago:

- I was going through a quick divorce. My ex-husband and I liked to get things done; as my Dad would've said, we didn't like to "dawdle."

- I moved from a house that I loved to create a home that I felt at peace in. Moving is no small feat.

- I left three jobs in rapid succession, seeking a better culture fit.

- I was going through "the change," which may or may not have contributed to my crisis.

- I was living alone every other week, in an unfamiliar community, feeling vulnerable and scared.

- I was studying excessively for my real estate and insurance licenses.

- I drank wine each night my children were not with me and began smoking cigarettes.

- I was not sleeping well, many nights not at all.

The National Library of Medicine reports that without proper sleep, within 24-48 hours perceptual distortions, anxiety, irritability, and disorientation begin. After 48-90 hours, more complex hallucinations and disordered thinking emerge. And, after 72 hours, delusions set in, along with persistent complex hallucinations and mood changes. By the fifth day of sleep deprivation, many people experience a state resembling acute psychosis. That was me.

I began to imagine, see, and hear things that were not truly there. The illusions were so vivid and interesting, yet frightening at the same time. My family noticed my changed behavior and asked questions. In this disorganized state, I tried to cover up my troubles, further exacerbating the situation.

Thankfully ... thinking they were expecting me... I drove to the National Guard. They very kindly escorted me to an acute mental health clinic where I remained for five days. I needed rest badly. Really badly. (Yes, this was really happening. I was suprised too.)

When I was released to go home to continue my healing, the following steps helped me the most. It's important to note that I did not get better all of a sudden. I needed (and received) compassion and trust from friends and loved ones. Trust, that I would let them know if I was struggling. ( If you don't have a built in ecosystem of support, it's okay. Patiently create one with the help of www.nami.org, mentioned in #6 below. )

Here are my tips for you or your loved ones:

1. Believe This is Not the End of Your Story: When you're deep down in depression, anxiety or whatever challenges you're facing, it's hard to imagine life on the other side. Have faith and decide that you're going to pull yourself up. Decide that giving up is not an option.

2. Make Your Bed Every Day: This video helped me when I was literally too weak to get out of bed. It gave me a goal, every day. I can't help but wonder how many others it has helped: [Watch Here](https://youtu.be/sBAqF00gBGk?si=Bmko_qAyhfOgncDg).

3. Cold Water Therapy: Throw cold water on your face in the morning and finish your shower with a steady flow of as cold of water as you can handle (and then a little colder). It will make you feel alive.

4. Find the Right Therapist: Seek out a therapist you can be 100% transparent with. Ask for tools, mantras, and resources to help yourself. It's helpful to talk with someone other than friends and family. Give them a break if you can afford to and talk with professionals that are trained to help you progress forward in life.

5. Get Moving, Regularly: If it's physically challenging to move, start with a slow walk to the mailbox, progressing to around the block. When you feel up to it, add a more rigorous routine. Medical News Today reports that engaging in 150 minutes of moderate exercise per week has been found to significantly reduce depression, anxiety and psychological distresses. That's a 30 minute walk, five times per day. (You can do it.) If you'd like to know of a reasonably priced, user friendly, for all-levels-of-yoga platform try www.downdogapp.com . It's my go to.

6. Cut Out Unhealthy Substances: Whether it's alcohol, nicotine, marijuana, or other substances, consider the risks. National Geographic reports that daily cannabis use increases the risk of psychosis. Up to one third of these people that experience psychosis, with continued use may go on to develop schitzophrenia. Hardly worth the risk. There's also such a "thing" as alcohol induced psychosis involving dillusions, paranoia and loss of touch with reality. The National Library of Medicine reports that it's distinct from typical alcohol intoxication or withdrawal delirium, in that the psychotic symptoms are more severe and longer-lasting. If you're seeing someone falling down that slippery slope of mental impairment, shine a light on it and get them help. As a close friend of mine called it "rain on their parade". It's okay for everyone to feel uncomfortable. If you or they would like more help, www.nami.org is a great place to begin the journey.

7. Find Healthy Ways to Relax: At first, you might need to let go of some friendships. Your good friends will understand and possibly even be eager to change their habits also, or at least while they're with you. AA or groups from Meetup.com can offer support. Read a book, create art, take up a new hobby. You may slowly being to love life again. Add in: Learn to say "No" and don't spread yourself too thin.

8. Create a Routine: As difficult as it may be at first, it will give you a sense of purpose and make you feel accomplished at the same time. I promise. Try it for several weeks and see if it works for you too.

9. Abstain from Negativity: Avoid people, social media, and news channels that bring you down. Quickly check in with yourself after each interaction. Decide which experiences you would like to have again and which you'd like to let go.

10. Celebrate Small Wins: Life doesn’t have to be so serious all the time. Find ways to smile, laugh, and celebrate your progress. Each little step forward is a really big deal.

I am not a professional in the mental health education space. I'm simply a participant that has rounded the top of the pit and I can promise you that when you get on the other side of this mess that it feels like you're in, you will feel so much stronger.

You may even feel heroic having come back from a place that you will never go again.

Eventually... you'll want to help others too.

Linda Crane - Worldwide Real Estate Referral Associate

Direct line: + 1 215-429-0419