Real talk and hot takes about my first medical leave experience

Disclaimer - The opinions and experiences expressed in this article are mine, and mine alone. It is best to consult with your medical team and your organization to learn what is best for you and your medical, personal, and spiritual care. Each person's experiences are unique and I am simply sharing mine.

Four weeks ago today, I had major surgery for the first time in my life. I returned to work last week from medical leave and have a few hot takes and tips I'd love to share that could be helpful for you in the future. Save this article for later!

1. Take the time to heal, take your time healing.

Don’t rush the natural process and time that it takes your body to heal itself. I have a friend who had the same surgery and same surgeon as me, and they were back to work within a few days whereas, I returned after 2.5 weeks. I already knew I was going to take the maximum amount of time allowed because: 1. it it recommended that it takes a minimum of 6 weeks to heal from the procedure I had properly and 2. the nurse at my doctor’s office said, “It’s rare you’ll get the opportunity to use the benefits you pay for so you should use them and take the time!” That part Brooke, that part. Also, on the same topic of taking your time, I live in NYC and normally walk “New York fast”. Post-surgery, I had to add about 15-20mins to whatever I was trying to do or wherever I intended to go because I was sooo slow. Take your time hun. Being in a rush could cause more harm and damage to your precious body and state of mind.

2. Prepare for the unexpected and the side effects that may come.

I had an unexpected side effect from my surgery that caused a great amount of discomfort post-surgery. I was in so much pain, only sleep relieved it long-term. I couldn’t have imagined going back to work with this pain, even though I felt OK from the surgery after a few days. Things happen which is why my previous point to rest and heal is listed first.

3. Get familiar with and understand your insurance policy.

Understanding your insurance policy is right up there with balancing a checkbook when it comes to things I wish were taught in school. This process taught me how much I DIDN’T understand about my insurance. I sure did learn quickly though! Be clear on how much you’ll have to come out of pocket too as that was a bit of a shock to me.

4. PLAN and prepare as much as possible.

• Do you know how to apply for medical leave? We have such a wonderful benefits team at R/GA and Shakeena Marks is one of the most reliable colleagues I’ve ever had. I know that if I have a question about anything related to benefits, insurance, or payroll, Shakeena’s got the answer. She helped me apply for short-term medical leave and helped me understand the whole process. What a lifesaver because sis was a little lost. Do you know who you should go to with medical leave questions at your organization? If not, find out now so you know ahead of when you have to know. One less thing to be concerned about.
• You may have a procedure that will max out your deductible and co-insurance. In that case, I’d recommend scheduling your procedure earlier in the year so you can take advantage of the often rare occasion that you’ve maxed your plan out. This often means no more co-pays or any other costs for anything else! For example, because I've maxed both my deductible and co-insurance out, I'll no longer have to pay the co-pay for my therapy sessions. Be sure to check what your plan includes since every plan is different.
• People need people, especially while healing. I didn’t plan well for post-operation care. I was SUPER busy at work and trying to get my home in order to prepare to be laid up for a few weeks. I did not properly plan for support to help me out afterward. I knew my dear friend Mar, would be picking me up from the hospital and bringing me home. After that, I was on my own. NOT SMART. By day 2 I was super sad, in pain, and calling people to come over. Incredibly thankful for my friends who came through in my time of need.

Which brings me to my next point...

5. Let your community support you!

It’s cute to be all independent until you can’t wash the dishes because it’s too hard to bend over, or you can’t pick up that thing off the floor because you now have mobility limitations. By the way, my grabber pickup tool was my best friend!

Here are two ways my community showed up for me in real life and from afar:

• IRL - Having friends close by to come and sit with me helped both emotionally and physically. The same friend who had the same surgery came over one day and before they left asked if I wanted them to wash the dishes. I almost cried. I realllllyyy wanted to ask but wasn’t comfortable asking for this. Other friends took me to the grocery store, kept me company and painted with me, brought fresh flowers, helped put furniture together, and lifted heavy or high-up items when I was unable to. It really is the little things that make all the difference.
• Virtual/distanced support - One of my good friends set up a Meal Train account and page for me. I was very hesitant about this and didn’t feel comfortable sharing the link with friends and family. Would people think I was poor and unable to afford groceries? Would I come off as needy? Would they think I couldn’t feed myself? All of these thoughts ran through my head. My friend who set up the Meal Train page is a mom of two and I think this concept of meal trains is more familiar in her community of suburban parents. Meal trains aren’t a thing in my super single, busybody, hustle culture city life. Just a quick tip and clarification, no one actually made meals for me, they donated money through the platform. I wouldn’t recommend this because the fees cost the same amount as a meal. Some friends sent Uber and Doordash gift cards which worked out really well. However, if you live in an area that doesn’t have food delivery services, or if you plan to buy groceries and cook, then the monetary donation feature may be helpful for you.

Community that isn’t nearby can also help to make phone calls, set up appointments, or arrange services that can be arranged on the phone/internet.

Like any other situation, know that people may not come through for you, regardless of how well-intended they are. Always have a plan b/backup plan. Things happen!

Also, don't forget to send thank you cards to those who lent a helping hand or sent a gift/donation! The thanks goes a long way.

6. Your body is your business boo!

This is one of the most important hot takes about taking medical leave that I cannot stress enough. You are not obligated to share what’s going on with you or why you are taking medical leave. The only people who need to know are your insurance company and those helping with filing the leave. I recently spoke with a younger person who will have the same procedure and they weren’t sure how to tell their team. I told them they didn’t have to because it wasn’t their business! Being respectful of people’s bodies, beings and choices is always the right way to go.

Also, news flash everyone! There are a million other reasons why someone may need to take medical leave. We are all most familiar with parental leave (usually when a baby is born/adopted) or bereavement (when someone transitions) but regardless of the reason, all reasons matter and should be treated with care and respect.

I truly hope my tips and hot takes will be helpful when it’s time for you or a colleague to take medical leave. We get one body and it’s so important to care for it! #carecantwait