REAL Talk: all that glitters ain't gold.

Things on the outside look glamorous right now. My organisation @heartonmysleevemovement is going from strength to strength. Winning grants, getting awards, speaking at big companies, Interviewing celebs, living my life’s purpose, and more. That’s all true, but like always, that’s not the full picture

This week I lost my only employee who was an absolute rock star, so I’m back to running the business on my own (albeit with a ton of support from lots of people like strategic advisers, friends and family), but I’m the only one in the engine room. That alone is too much for 1 person. We are far from funded adequately and we only have enough money to sustain a few months at a time. Working in a startup is hard, but it’s even harder when you are doing it in mental health where you’re entire day is full of witnessing people’s immense pain, which takes its toll. I just got off the phone to the bank, I’ve defaulted on my home loans again, for investment places I bought when I was working at Microsoft, and the market in Australia is about to turn. I’m finishing off my Masters degree at university right now, studying in my spare time. My weekends are full of assignments, or writing a syllabus for my business which is now 60,000 words long so that it can be turned into an ELearning series and corporate workshop program, so it can finally evolve from a social campaign into a business that provides life-changing services. Seeing it as it is today hurts because behind the scenes so much work has gone on that no one has seen yet, which also makes it hard when it appears you have nothing to show for it. And I just got to my office which I caught an hour of public transport to get to on a Saturday, to spend another weekend grinding, only to realize my keys are back at home.

Sitting on the front steps, feeling tired and bruised - writing this post - is what’s real. I am not complaining, I’m just re-balancing the perception. And it needs to be told so that we keep remembering - all that glitters ain’t gold. I’m struggling, but Im solid. Both at the same time. It’s worth every bit of pain, but it’s ignorant to think it’s absent of it. #heartonmysleeve