Is it real?

In January of this year, I was hospitalized with double pneumonia. I was septic, with my blood oxygen level at 55. At 50, the internal organs shut down. The ER Doctor told my husband that if he had brought me in fifteen or twenty minutes later, I would have died.

I spent eighteen days in a coma in the ICU. My cardiothoracic surgeon informed my husband that patients in intensive care can suffer from ICU Psychosis or ICU Syndrome as it’s also known. I’m writing a short story about what I remember, with my husband helping me fill in the blanks. It was a bizarre ride through hell, with severe hallucinations, horrifying nightmares, delusions, and paranoia. I trusted no one—not even my husband, who I rarely recognized. So great was my psychosis that even now, the delusions are the only things that feel real, with everything else a collage of surreal dreams.

After I went home, a month after I had been admitted, my husband and I did some research on ICU Psychosis. We learned it’s a state of delirium or brain failure, and not uncommon. I visited site after site where individuals discussed what happened to them, but didn’t understand why. From what I can tell, I had a severe case, but so did many others. They were confused and distraught. Some had memories of someone close trying to kill them. One man committed suicide. Almost all experienced difficulty adapting to their old life. I hope my short story, Splintered Reality, will help those that read it. It’s a work in progress, as it is painful to write. I’m telling it from mine and my husband’s POV. Without my husband sharing genuine life experiences, it would be difficult for the reader to know reality from the psychosis.