The Real Reasons Why We Hate Mondays

Sometimes we can be the source of our Monday morning unhappiness.

It’s true. Even though we want to blame external forces for Mondays sucking as much as they do, the reality is we have more control over how we think about our situations. More importantly, we have control over what we can do about it.

Since launching this newsletter, I’ve discussed several topics on taking a different approach when facing the dreaded first day of the week. Today I’ll connect a few theories that can help us unpack the real reasons why we dislike the first day of the week in the first place.

I have a knack for finding rare gems in the form of used books at consignment shops. A few months ago I picked up ‘Do It Now: How to Stop Procrastinating’ by Dr. William J. Knaus. I’ve never heard of him or this book which was originally published in 1979. But since it was $2.99 and I’m a self-proclaimed chronic procrastinator, I decided to give the book a chance.

Long story short, it's probably one of the most insightful books I've ever read, and I’m not blowing smoke because I got a great deal. For a book written over 4 decades ago the content is surprisingly current. Dr. Knaus goes deep into the psychology of procrastination and why we at times fall prey to it. In chapter 8 he specifically breaks down the Six Procrastination Styles. Understanding them and how they affect us will increase the self-awareness we need if we desire to change the way we start each week.

So let’s jump in!?

Mental Procrastination is the first one on the list and is probably the most common. It's when we put off thinking about how to solve personal problems, while constantly telling ourselves (and others) how unhappy we are. There’s too much focus on trying to get rid of negative feelings while routinely repeating the same procrastination pattern. As Dr. Knaus tells it, “They suffer from disorganized thinking, obsessive ruminations, and indecisiveness.” Trying to just get rid of unwanted feelings and asking yourself ‘why’ you dread Mondays are two completely different things. The former doesn’t deal with the root of your discontentment while the latter allows you to begin that journey. And once you unpack those details, you can start making a plan to attack them.

The second type is Drifting. It’s when we react to life events by settling for what life has to offer rather than going after what we really want. It’s failing to identify a life objective or purpose, possessing a vague sense of our goals, and acting blandly and indifferent towards life overall. I’ve talked about finding purpose at work a lot, but the author takes a deeper approach in dealing with this. “When you drift, you tend to act irresponsibly toward yourself. Viewing yourself as a person worthy of caring for can be a way to initiate responsibility”. So instead of just searching for purpose, when you find it, believe you are worthy enough to chase after it.?

Behavioral Procrastination is an interesting one. The author calls it ‘deceptive’ and I’ll explain why. We can overcome the first two types of procrastination and actually make actionable plans for meaningful change. But when we stop short of following-through on those plans, we are actually trying to avoid possible discomfort and tension associated with the process. We need to ask ourselves the following questions to begin pushing through the self-made barrier of this procrastination type: Do we truly believe that following-through on a goal should be effortless? Do we expect our work to be perfect at the first go around? Are we pushing ourselves past what we think are our physical limitations? Or are we using any sign of bodily fatigue to rationalize taking a break??

If you’ve ever delayed or given up on expressing yourself creatively due to having doubts about your ability, you’re probably a Frustrated Artist. Constantly avoiding the very activity, you enjoy because of the fear of failure. Perfectionism has led to a lack of risk taking. The feeling of frustration and tension that might come with real self-expression is stronger than the desire to achieve something great. We can ask the same questions above in the behavioral procrastination section to address the deep psychology of this issue.

The procrastination style of Competitiveness is one we might need a minute to wrap our head around. One aspect is being so competitive that coming out on top in any situation is our only goal. So instead of aiming to level up and risk looking foolish for a time while we learn, we compete with people that don’t match our level of professional capability. On the other hand, there’s the idea of shrinking back from healthy competitiveness. Not wanting to evolve professionally because we connect competition with aggressive behavior from others we are competing against. Somewhere in between is what the author calls ‘Comparitivitis’. Yeah, that word is a mouthful, but the definition is broken down beautifully by Dr. Knaus:

“Comparitivitis is not only in evidence when one compulsively compares-favorably or unfavorably-one's qualities with those of others, but also when a person internally creates ‘time performance’ standards and anticipates that his actual performance will fail to equal the standard. In other words, the person establishes nearly impossible time standards. Such misjudgments then lead to procrastination because rather than risk failure in meeting the standard, the project is put off.”

Dealing with a competitive or comparative mindset starts with understanding the difference between an Abundance Mentality and a Mindset of Scarcity. Having an abundance mentality is the belief that there’s enough opportunity to go around for everyone. We don’t have to worry about others getting more credit or achieving success. There’s no need to constantly compete or compare ourselves to each other because our security comes from within, not the need to win. Scarcity is the complete opposite.

Intrigue Creating is the sixth and final procrastination style. It's when we make a decision today that creates a crisis later. A crisis the ‘intrigue creator’ (me and you) uses significant (and valuable) time to resolve. For example, if we decide to put off resolving late payment issues with a critical vendor, it could result in services not being provided when we need it most. This then leads to using more time and energy resolving the issue at the eleventh hour or worse, finding a new (and possibly more expensive) vendor at the last minute. Time, energy and resources spent are shifted away from constructive activities that could have provided the source of stimulation and excitement. Before we decide to put something off, we need to first evaluate the long-term effects of that decision. On a deeper level, creating intrigue reflects a need for mental stimulation or quick emotional charge. At this stage it could be helpful to have a professional (therapist, counselor, etc.) intervene and assist us in unpacking these types of behaviors.

All 6 procrastination styles are good points to start considering if you find yourself constantly suffering the ‘Sunday Night Scaries’ or dreading the Monday Morning workday. It’s unlikely you’re experiencing all 6 at the same time so I encourage you to select the one that resonates with you the most and begin taking steps to address it. As I mentioned off the top, we possess the power to change how we start each week in our lives and career. As the Stoic philosopher Seneca once said, “We suffer more often in imagination than in reality.”

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Sheldon Barrocks ?is an author, freelance writer and?Award-winning?Supply Chain professional. Since 2010 he has published articles covering business, career advancement, creativity, pop culture, music, fashion, sports and more. He's provided creative solutions for major brands like?Mars, Kelloggs, General Mills, Conagra, B&G Foods, Ingredion, Henkel and more. Check out his book?Unstuck Mondays ?and join his?mailing list ?to level up in your creativity and career!