The Real Reason You Can’t Stay Consistent (Hint: It’s Not Lack of Willpower)

You start a new goal feeling motivated and ready to go. Your energy is high and showing up to do the work is no big deal. (This is the magic of the Fresh Start Effect.)

But a few weeks (or days) in, your consistency starts slipping. You start thinking about skipping out and many times, you actually do.

You tell yourself you just need more willpower to stay the course. You may even load on some self-induced guilt or shame to boot. (Because that will get you back on track, you wrongly think.)

But then before you know it, your lack of consistency has led to another goal abandoned...again. (Cue more shame and guilt again for good measure.)

Sound familiar?

It does to me. I've experienced it myself more times than I care to admit and I see it all the time in the clients I work with to help them meet their big goals.

So if 'Consistency is key,' then what is the key to consistency?

It's not willpower, although that sometimes helps get us started.

It's mindset, pure and (not so) simple.

Willpower Alone Doesn't Work

Rely solely on willpower to get the job done and you'll keep experiencing the above scenario over and over.

Add in the guilt and shame when your willpower runs out and you're digging a hole that is nearly impossible to escape.

Because willpower is a finite resource -- we only have so much of it.

Willpower is powered by decisions and the human brain can only handle making so many decisions in a day. Decision fatigue happens when our willpower battery drains throughout the day as we resist temptations, make tough choices, or push ourselves to stay disciplined.

When that willpower battery is drained, it's drained.

And forcing yourself to do what you said you'd do often leads to backlash down the road.

What Actually Creates Consistency

Becoming more consistent is easier when you know the three things that actually make consistency stronger: the thoughts you think, the emotions you feel, and the level of your self-trust.

Your Thoughts and Identity: Keep telling yourself that your 'bad at follow through' and guess what will happen -- you become bad at follow through. You start to label yourself as 'Someone Who Doesn't Finish What They Start.' Your brain follows what you believe so don't be surprised when that inner dialogue of guilt and shame starts showing up in a lack of goal progress.

Your Emotions: Most inconsistency happens because we are unconsciously trying to avoid discomfort. When something feels hard, boring, or uncertain, we avoid it—not because we’re lazy, but because our survival brain seeks comfort. It's important to remember that constantly telling yourself 'this is hard' may be doing more damage to your goal progress than you think.

Self-Trust: The balance in your Self-Trust Bank is wholly dependent on whether or not you do what you say you'll do. Every time you need to do something new or challenging, you go to your Self-Trust Bank to draw confidence. If there is nothing there, it's very difficult to take action because you're Self-Trust Bank is broke and so is your confidence in yourself.

How to Build True Consistency

Shift Your Identity: Start telling yourself "I am someone who does what they say they'll do," "I finish what I start," or "I honor my commitments" and start to see how much easier it is to do so.

Reframe Discomfort: Feeling discomfort when you leave your Comfort Cave is not a bad thing. It's a sign that you are growing. Learn to recognize discomfort as a signal that you are on the right track. (Remember, no one ever experienced a growth spurt inside their Comfort Cave.)

Celebrate Small Wins: Learn to find joy in the journey and take note of when you do even the small things reinforces your self-belief in good ways and keeps guilt and shame away. It also makes lots of deposits into your Self-Trust Bank.

Create a Consistency Tracker: I like to use a consistency tracker to keep track of when I show up to do the hard things. Putting an X on a calendar is a great visual reminder of the progress you're making. (Listen to my podcast episode about this here.)

Where have you been blaming lack of willpower for inconsistency? What’s one small shift you can make today?

Remember, becoming a goal getter takes consistency but consistency isn't about willpower alone. It's about becoming the person who shows up and takes action.

Need help building your consistency? Check out the Goal Getter's Club here.

Jen Laffin is the founder of Goal Getter Solutions, a coaching program that helps goal setters become goal getters. Learn more about Goal Getter Solutions here.