The real reason why your emails suck.

Email is a necessary part of business. But it’s sort of a love-hate relationship for most people. 

We love the simplicity and speed of it. But we hate how it can quickly become impersonal or at worst, unanswered or deleted. 

And I think the reason why we hate most emails comes down to one thing...

...lack of empathy.

In this case....empathy means putting the other person first. Focusing on them.

• Their needs.
• Their schedule.
• Their goals. 

You get the idea.

When we don’t put the other person first, the email becomes a me-focused piece of communication; designed to accomplish what’s on my agenda.

Whether that’s to book a meeting, to sell an idea, or follow up on a proposal, it's about what I want and I need from the person on the other end. 

But when we practice empathy, we approach email from a different point of view. 

It's important to think about things like:

• What else is going on in this person’s life? 
• How can I bring value to this person? 
• What are the implications of too long of an email? Too short? 
• What type of device might they be reading this on? 

These questions cause us to think outside of what’s in it for us, and how we might be making the other person feel. It’s that feeling that guides the success of our email communications.

A mentor once told me:

“Don’t disregard feelings - they are the basis for our own perceived reality.”

What he meant was, regardless of the truth of the matter is that how we feel is real to us. So if we make the person on the other end of the email FEEL used because we’re too selfish, then regardless of your intent, that’s what your email made them feel. 

And feelings come from current reality, past experiences, and previous conditioning. If the last 200 emails the person has received from an outside party were asking them to buy something, and yours does the same --you immediately fall into that bucket. 

So how do you write better emails? And practice empathy?

Here are 5 simple strategies that will help you do just that. 

1. Use the I/You exercise -- review the email that you just wrote and circle how many times you use “I” or “we” statements, compared to the number of times you use “you” statements. Usually it’s far too lopsided. Go for a I/You ratio of at least 70/30. Remember, it’s about them - not you. 
2. Practice the 2 swipe rule. Send yourself a test of the email and then read it on your mobile device. Do you have to swipe up more than 2 times to read the whole email? If yes, it’s too long. 
3. Consider the timing. If you use a third-party tool to schedule emails, then you may have the advantage of sending it at an optimal time based on past open history (most CRMs have this functionality, or you could use a tool like Seventh Sense). If not, think about the life of the individual that you’re emailing, and when they may be most likely to receive and process an email message. 
4. Make it personal. Nobody likes being at the other end of a “template”. I understand the value of templates (believe me, I use them myself) - but they’re designed to give you a starting point. Make sure you’re customizing the template with something human/relevant that creates a personal connection with the recipient. Consider using a Chrome extension like "Crystal Knows" to gather insight on your audience and compose the email in a way that syncs with their personality. 
5. Use short sentences. A large majority of us read emails on our mobile devices - which means a run-on sentence can take up the whole screen. Break your sentences into smaller, easier to read bites. Not good at this? Get a twitter account and tweet regularly. If there’s one thing that’s taught me how to take big sentences and condense them down, it’s tweeting in 140 characters. 

Do you have some tips for practicing empathy in your email communication? Please share in the comments below!