The REAL reason we apologize

A recent service failure at the grocery store reminded me why we apologize when things go wrong, and it’s more than saying, “I’m sorry.”? In fact, sometimes “I’m sorry” is not even the best apologetic phrase when trying to turn a situation around.

After doing a big grocery run to restock my kitchen as we returned from a weeklong vacation, we had the next several nights of dinner locked in.? First night was salmon, second night was cod.? No food was going to go to waste.

On night two, upon opening the package of cod, we realized there was something on it that shouldn’t have been there.? I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say it was… alive.? Once the initial shock subsided, we pivoted and made something else, disposed of the bad cod, while still pretty grossed out by what we saw.

The next day, I returned to the grocery store and went to the service counter and reported the issue.? I pulled out my phone to show the pictures and videos I took, and the staff member immediately asked if I had my receipt.? I said I didn’t but I had the credit card, and he quickly located the transaction, found the fish, and printed a return receipt, telling me how much I would be credited back.

Now here’s the good thing.? The resolution was provided immediately without hesitation, and it was functional.? It worked.? I bought something, it was bad, I spoke up, and I got it refunded.? It checked all the boxes of a situation reversal.

When I told my wife the good news, she asked, “Did they apologize?? Was the guy shocked when he saw the pictures?”

I then realized he never even saw the pictures.? He didn’t care.? He solved the problem as quick as he could, which means he missed a couple critical steps.

When I recounted the story and said that he didn’t apologize, it wasn’t that I needed hear him say, “I’m sorry.”? It didn’t matter to me if he (or the multi-billion-dollar corporation) was sorry.? What I needed to know was that this wasn’t normal.? I needed to know that they cared that I brought this to their attention. I needed to know that they were going to take this seriously to make sure it doesn’t happen again. I needed to know that the team member cared that I had to pivot at the last second and change my entire dinner plans.

There was no element of concern or disbelief, in fact it almost came across as being common.

After I got the refund and went to get dinner for that night, what do you think I DIDN’T buy?

In my training workshops, when we review the LAST model (Listen, Apologize, Solve, and Thank), I always stress that the Solve step is only part of the process – and not even close to the beginning.? Oftentimes people in my sessions have raised their hands and said, “When a guest complaints about X, we do Y.” ?It often fits the framework of the solution, as it did in my case here, but I ask in return, “Was the guest satisfied?” and they usually say, “I think so, but it still feels off.”

That’s because service recovery is a process, not a function.? If you skip straight to the solution, it’s treating service recovery like a vending machine.? The guest comes up, puts in their problem, and out pops the solution.? That’s what happened at the service counter at the grocery store, and solving the issue alone didn’t fully recover my concern. It was purely transactional.

?When we come across service failures in our guest experience (which we often do, regardless of how great your business is), the entire purpose of issuing an apology is to rebuild the guest’s confidence in the quality of the product, service, or experience.? We apologize to show we care, even if it’s an easy fix.

-Josh

Josh Liebman specializes in guest experience within attractions, hospitality, and tourism. Josh has worked for some of the top attraction operators in the world, and has been integral to the openings of multiple attractions. Today, parks and attractions hire Josh to ensure that they can exceed every guest's expectations, effectively resolve service failures, and drive loyalty through the guest experience. Since 2016, thousands of team members across various attractions have participated in Josh's Guest Experience Workshop, gaining the tools and motivation they need to take their guest experience to the next level. Josh is Co-Host of the AttractionPros Podcast , which has been recognized as the leading resource for attractions industry professionals. AttractionPros has published hundreds of interviews with the most influential attractions industry leaders, offering a wide range of insights for those building their careers in the industry. And coming December 2023, Josh's book, The Hospitality Mentality , will be available at a bookstore near you.