The real reason good people build bad systems

Think back to a time when you were a small child and the first time you jumped in a mud puddle. Remember the sheer delight of anticipation and the joyful satisfaction of jumping, two feet at a time into a juicy deep puddle.

If you are like most of us, you might also remember that moment when some grown up looked at you and said “Stop that! You're getting mud all over your clothes. Get out of that water come back here now.” 

If you wanted to please that adult or worse feared them, chances are you learned not to jump in the next mud puddle that came along -- at least not in their presence.

And so begins the slow and steady departure from our pure authentic selves to the identities that we form in response to the people around us who they themselves have been told not to joyfully splash in puddles as children. 

Parents, teachers, peers, advertisements, bosses, society -- all of these influences shape what we believe about ourselves and what we think we are supposed to do. Each of these influences express their desires and expectations of us, expectations that are unquestioned or well intended at best, and manipulative and self-serving at worst.

Over time as we shape ourselves into the image we believe we are supposed to take on to survive, the lines between who we are and who they tell us to be, begin to blur. We find ourselves moving farther and farther away from the unique, one of a kind, pure essential being that we were born to be. A person who has never in all of time and space existed before and never will again.

When that distance between who we truly are and the image that we show to the world becomes too wide it leads to a host of social ills - depression, anxiety, addiction, eating disorders, anger, suicide, violence. 

And it leads to systems being designed with the same incongruence, lack of integrity, hypocrisy and inexplicable contradictions. This is because what we create is a reflection of who we are. 

When we have lost touch with our own true nature, when we lack clarity about what we really want, value, and need to be whole, we find ourselves the living casualties of the battle between our true essential natures and the identities we have formed or consciously believe to be true. When the conscious mind and the unconscious mind do not agree the results are contradictions in what we say matters and what we actually do. Gandhi said, “Happiness is when what you think what you say and what you do are in harmony”. 

And so, if you as a leader truly want to create systems that are congruent, that have integrity, and alignment you need to start by developing that congruence, integrity and alignment within yourself. 

That's why the most important thing you will ever do as a leader begins with self-discovery--because with that comes clarity about, peace with, and love for that beautiful authentic you. From that place of wholeness you also get clarity about what you're creating, why you are doing and how to do it with intention. When you know in every cell of your body what you're about, what matters, and why you're here, you can see and feel when things are out of alignment and put them right. 

------------------------------------------------------

Rediscover Yourself

The work of Self Discovery is the process of unearthing your core essence, your unique gifts, passions, personality and beliefs and peeling away those parts that aren’t really you - the armor of thought, word and action that you adopted to survive, to feel safety, acceptance and love so long ago that you probably don’t even remember doing it. 

My purpose and privilege is guiding others to reconnect with their authentic selves, recognize their own beauty and power, and help them bring their lives into alignment with what they value most.

For a limited time as we shelter in place, I’m offering FREE group coaching sessions to those who want to start leading from a place of authenticity, integrity and purpose. Join me on a journey of transformation and become the change you want to see in the world. Using a variety of techniques I will guide you past the constructed conscious mind to bring out the truth of who you are so that you can start living a life that feels energizing, fulfilling and joyful, and make a powerful impact on the people and institutions that matter most to you. And If you believe in a higher power, begin to live out the purpose you were put on this Earth to fulfill.

Details

8 week session begins Monday, April 20, 2020. Registration closes April 15th.

• 1.5 hour weekly group sharing & coaching, Thursdays, 9-10:30 PST / 12-1:30 EST
• ~3 hours weekly of independent study

While the entire program is 16 weeks, that is more than most of us can commit to right now so instead I’m offering the first 8 weeks together with a possibility that we may extend if that is viable. If not, I will make the remaining curriculum available to you so that you can continue self directed and at your own pace. 

We will form a cohort that meets weekly. All that will be shared there will be confidential. Your commitment will be to show up, do the work and share openly and authentically with your peers about your own learnings and journey. In that sharing, everyone learns and grows. 

Spaces are limited and there is an intake process to ensure our expectations are in alignment and your time will be well spent. There is also a strict attendance policy for the group sessions. If you are interested you can find my email in the first comment and I will send you an intake questionnaire.