Real Life or Fantasy?

So many of us spend our lives chasing stuff that ultimately doesn’t matter. This distracts us from what’s truly important, and ultimately leads to a feeling of dissatisfaction.

Our efforts are based on a misunderstanding about what brings happiness and fulfilment. Many of us chase pleasure thinking it will make us happy (only it doesn’t). Pleasure is a fleeting feeling that can leave us feeling empty, unfulfilled and sometimes even guilty once gratified; whereas happiness and fulfilment are deeper, more enduring emotions.

We think that money, status, promotions, achievements, good looking partners, large homes, shiny things, exotic holidays, expensive clothes and being thinner (or more ripped) and better looking will make us happier. But we’re wrong. These things can ultimately put more pressure on us, as they can complicate life and require significant upkeep and maintenance. Happiness is an inside-out job that no combination of outside-in accessories can achieve in themselves.

It’s not really our fault – it’s the lies we’re sold every day of our lives from the cradle to the grave, by those whose financial survival depends on making us feel that we’re not enough as we are – that we need to strive, push, win, spend and somehow be better or more special than others. Almost everyone around us appears to be caught up in the same myth, so most of us will swallow it too – at least for a while, until we either burn out or wake up to the illusion.

When we step back, sit down and think about what’s really important, we find that very little really matters when it comes to sustainable happiness and fulfilment: 

Giving and receiving love

Our connection and relationships with people, animals, nature/the planet. Looking after ourselves and others. Respecting difference.

Meaningful work / being useful and productive

Following our calling, mission or purpose. Doing work that enables us to make a positive contribution. Doing good.

Freedom

Being free to make choices that feel good. To express the fulness of who you are. To tell the truth and stand up for what’s right.

Good health

Body, mind and spirit. Peace of mind. Calmness of body/emotions. Freedom of movement. Balance. Good, clean water, air and food. Music.

Comfortable home

A dry, warm, clean, bright and pleasant space to live in, in a safe and friendly neighbourhood with good amenities.

Personal development

Opportunities to learn, un-learn and re-learn. To have new experiences, gain knowledge, try things, experiment.

You may disagree with the list above (surely holidays are vital for wellbeing?!) – or you may wish to add other things.       

Only a few things in life really matter. Don't chase the other stuff.