Real Life Evidence

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Today, thought leaders are redefining “soft skills” with “power skills" to emphasize the importance of work/life satisfaction and results. Decades of research have repeatedly proven that the most inspirational leaders use their power skills to enjoy “whole-life” results, not just a focus on “term-life” or the 90,000 hours we spend at work in our lifetimes.?

The “Real Life” evidence from countless sources all agree that hard skills alone don’t pay the bills. What pays the bills is a combination of soft skills, such as "power skills,” “hard skills,” “networking,” and negotiation, and you should never stop applying the learning or understanding you have into action. Wisdom. Don’t stop at basic skills; do them all.

• Fortune 500 CEOs themselves identify inspirational power skills as the most sought-after traits in potential candidates, with communication, teamwork, and problem-solving topping the list.
• Quantitative data from Gallup reports that teams with high emotional intelligence (a key soft skill) experience 21% greater profitability than those with lower scores.
• Research provides evidence that the wealthiest people report their power skills are principles of success for them to develop high performance habits to expand their business

Inspirational people in history have more than just power skills (Soft Skills) or influence. Still, no matter what your current level of success may be, there are lessons we can learn about inspirational people. My attempts to write about leadership have been endless as the topic is an obsession for me, however, because of the unlimited supply of books on the topic of soft skills, the reality is the need for another leadership book simply is not unique.?

What inspired me to act was my own story and an infatuation with leaders who overcame adversity and used that adversity to inspire others. My entire life and career have been a research lab of studying, following, reading and learning from inspirational people who overcame adversity. Many of the people I write about have emotional stories of hardship, pain, and setback, but something inside them drove them to more than just influence and results. For them they had the sweet spot of a dream and action.?

“A vision without a task is but a dream. A task without a vision is drudgery. A vision and a task are the hope of the world.” -Inscribed on a church wall in Sussex, England. Author unknown.?

Adversity is Real-life

I was admitted into the L.S.U. Museum, which is called The Old War Skull. The museum is dedicated to combat veterans who played sports at L.S.U. I was deployed to Iraq as an infantryman during my first freshman year of college. Because I was driven to play football, I played for the 2007 L.S.U.? B.C.S. National Championship football team. Regardless of any success or influence, no matter what I achieve, it never satisfies me; I get close to the level I want but don’t quite reach, or I achieve a goal and see that achieving it gives me confidence but in real life I need more than just great results. I have had a history of people wanting to get close to me, but I keep people at a distance. For example, when I returned home from Iraq, I stayed away from my friends and had a hard time being a typical student. It wasn’t until I discovered inspiration in real life.?

I have learned that if we don’t know how to apply inspiration at home with those closest to us, nothing we do on the outside matters or will last. Research reveals that marriages and families suffer while business leadership training continues to get more attention than leadership in life.

We need more than just another “keynote” or workshop to attend to have a tangible impact on our organizations... and lives.

How effective will management training be if the families at home are dealing with low inspiration??

Throughout this book, I will share simple truths and lessons that are very challenging to implement in real life, yet the return on investment can save company performance, relationships, and lives. It's not enough to be inspired by the emotions and challenges great leaders endured; we need to be aware of our pride in order to apply the lessons in our lives.?

The number one reason that prevents us from applying this in real life is false pride and insecurity.

Both ego and pride pose significant challenges. They lead to false notions of superiority, where individuals begin prioritizing their interests excessively. How do individuals with such inflated egos and elitism distance them from…less influential people??

Real Life Story

I will give you a real-life example. A well-known philanthropist invited me to a book festival at Tulane University. I was given the Board Member’s pass and had access to some of the most influential authors in the U.S.?

Any time I have the opportunity to meet new people, I show up early and enjoy people-watching. The habit has served me well by acclimating and eating first so I can enjoy being present and engaged with the people I will meet. I have a value of being genuine as the way I grew up provided an education to me about how people tend to look over people who don’t have…influence or success.?

Treat all people alike, whether the person is superior or subordinate in life. CEO or janitor. How you are inspired follows you.?

This experience was like no other. I walk up to a security guard and start a conversation with a smile. Most of the event staff noticed me talking to this security guard with no pass or evidence that I was anyone special. I could see the difference in how people spoke to us and how they talked to influential people walking toward the entrance.?

When I was ready, I put on my name badge and board member access, and the event staff immediately changed their body posture and tone of voice. I was treated like a Board member, and I could see the change in how people looked at me. As I began talking to local business leaders, I enjoyed the rush of being one of the youngest people at the event. Most prominent people at this event were impressed that I had a ticket to the show. Yet my proximity to a very wealthy, successful, influential leader gave me access that very few could have.?

As I was talking to the legendary New Orleans P.J.’s coffee CEO Peter Boylan about our mutual relationships, we learned we both served in the U.S. Army. Immediately, we talked about the fact General Petraeus was going to be featured as a keynote speaker.?

Peter informed me he knew General Petreaus, and as we were talking, General Petreaus walked into the room. I was overwhelmed. Peter could tell how honored I was, and within an instant, the next thing I could remember was being in conversation with an influential leader at the highest levels.?

General Petraeus's remarkable journey is a testament to his unwavering dedication and selfless service. Graduating from the prestigious U.S. Military Academy at West Point in 1974 began a lifelong commitment to service and excellence. General Petraeus pursued further education as he rose at Princeton University's esteemed Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs. He earned a Master of Public Administration degree in 1985 and a doctorate in international relations in 1987.?Not to mention, he was the CIA director.

Even in the face of adversity, Petraeus was nearly killed after being accidentally shot in the chest with an M16 rifle by a soldier who tripped during a training exercise; he required almost five hours of surgery. This man’s resilience and determination shines through. His enduring spirit and commitment to his country inspire all who follow in his footsteps.?

He is also the type of leader inspired to serve and lead people to be inspired.

I was so thankful to connect with him and share stories of our different Army experiences. The experience will forever be etched in my repertoire of inspiration through adversity.?

I am not who I am or want to be, but I am growing in my ability to have real-life inspiration.

Why do some leaders rise to the occasion to inspire people, and others get away with only “leading” when it’s easy to have influence?? Well, it’s another ego group that permits it to happen. That’s the group of self-doubt—the people who fear. They think less of themselves than they should. They’re trying to protect themselves -? they don’t want to speak out or challenge the definition that leadership is just influence.?

In many organizations led by self-serving influential individuals, a toxic environment often emerges, fostering a phenomenon known as "quit and stay.” Employees find themselves mentally checking out, consumed by thoughts of work while at home and weighed down by personal concerns while at the office. This dichotomy perpetuates a cycle of disengagement and discontent.?

Morale suffers as employees feel undervalued and unfulfilled, contributing to a sense of defeat. This environment becomes a breeding ground for negativity, making it challenging for individuals to break free from the cycle of burndown boredom and burnout anxiety.

You may have a dream or a desire to get out of your current job or career because the evidence revealed every year that the majority of the workforce is “unengaged.” Something inside of you knows you were created for more, but the hours and constraints you may be enduring make you feel there is no hope of being inspired when the reality you live in is so crushing when elitist culture puts you in your place.

Work becomes the topic of dinner table conversations

People working under self-serving leaders and the environment that promotes those higher in the organization to grow their “Self-serving leadership,” while the people doing the work can feel degraded for the real work that caused the results.?

This can degrade morale and create a self-repeating cycle: being beaten down by responsibilities outside of work, plus an uninspiring environment, which leads to that defeated feeling, which makes it hard to rise out of the pit of despair.

You may feel that inspiration is for others with a platform or advanced degrees. Still, history has revealed other unknowns inspired through adversity, while charming, influential, and platform-driven leaders disappear when the shots are fired. We need to bring out the brilliance of the people around us instead of focusing on our brilliance.

So many have struggled with burndown boredom or burn-out anxiety in a never-ending cycle of ego-driven lives. This book is about a higher view of leadership than just influence.?

Many experts in today’s success literature are enamored by the idol of everything rising and falling on their leadership. Everything does not rise and fall on your leadership or influence. Leadership and a leader’s ability to inspire others make or break organizations.?

Many things rise and fall on leadership, but leaders die or fail. They are finite. We need to stop putting our confidence in kings or leaders. In the words of King Solomon of Israel circa 900 BC:

The winner of the race is not always the fastest runner, and the victor of the battle is not always the strongest warrior. The wise may go hungry, and the skilled may not always be wealthy. Even the educated do not always lead successful lives (Ecclesiastes 9:11-12).?

King Solomon goes on to make a profound statement, saying, “It is all decided by chance, by being in the right place at the right time.” While discipline, self-development, mastery, learning, studying, listening, planning, and taking action are important ingredients for success, there is also an element of providence. Being in the right place at the right time is more than just luck or random chance; it is something beyond time and location.

Mastering Habits and Behaviors: Inspiring in a Distracted World

More than ever, we need to inspire and be fully present, not distracted or mastered by our habits, but rather by showing up and leading our habits and behaviors. Leadership can only be inspirational if we stop wasting moments of inspiration often disguised as problems, recessions, divorce, war, or adversity.?

According to experts in the topic of inspiration it is a psychological construct. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, tripartite conceptualization (Thrash and Elliot, 2003) specifies the three core characteristics of inspiration: evocation, transcendence, and approach motivation.

• Evocation: Inspiration is triggered by external stimuli such as people, ideas, or art, rather than intentionally initiated by the individual. It is a response to something outside of oneself.
• Transcendence: During an inspirational episode, individuals become aware of new possibilities that surpass mundane concerns, going beyond ordinary limitations. This heightened awareness extends beyond consciously generated ideas.
• Approach motivation: Once inspired, individuals feel a strong inclination to transmit, actualize, or express the newfound vision. This drive to take action is fueled by a compelling motivation to approach the inspired idea or vision.

Evocation means that inspiration isn't something you actively create within yourself. Instead, it's sparked by external things like people, ideas, or art. Basically, you don't decide to feel inspired; it just happens when something outside of you triggers it.

Vision inspires you to deeper meaning

When you're inspired, you see possibilities beyond the ordinary, beyond what you usually think about. It's like breaking through the limits of your usual assumed constraints and limiting ideas. This new awareness feels accurate and precise, extending beyond what your past performance or results report.

And once you're inspired, you're driven to do something about it. You feel a strong urge to share, make real, or express the new ideas or vision you've discovered. This drive to act is what we call approach motivation.

Yet, its true power lies in this revelation and in the fiery drive it instills within us – a relentless urge to share, create, and communicate the newfound vision into reality. In this way, inspiration becomes a passive influence and a dynamic force that fuels our journey towards innovation and growth.

Nothing I accomplished in this life—even NCAA football after a combat tour to Iraq—is enough to fill the void or missing ingredient I needed most: someone to inspire what was already inside me. At the time, I did not know that my father and uncle played college football and became successful lawyers.

What inspired me was not allowing what others thought about me to define me.?

I was inspired between infantry missions at night and alternating days to train to achieve my goal if I returned home. Something inside of me inspired me to enjoy the pursuit of the goal more than the achievement of the goal.?

The pursuit inspired me more than the result; as a result, Inspiration gave me influence.

While there may not be direct scientific evidence for my specific statement, several psychological and motivational theories support the idea that pursuing a goal can be more inspiring than achieving the goal itself.

Self-Determination Theory: This theory suggests that individuals are more motivated and inspired when they are engaged in activities that provide a sense of autonomy, competence, and relatedness.?

Flow Theory: According to this theory, individuals experience the most enjoyment and inspiration when fully immersed in an activity, known as “flow.” Pursuing a goal often involves being fully engaged in the process, which can be more inspiring than the desire to accomplish the end result.?

Athletic Performance: At the moment when inspiration becomes a reality, science validates what athletes have long intuited: we're not merely bodies; our beliefs influence our physical actions. Take a football quarterback, for instance.?

When they're "in the zone," they often experience an intense focus and heightened awareness, enabling them to make lightning-fast decisions and execute pinpoint throws. This heightened state of being can result in remarkable achievements, like throwing numerous touchdown passes in a single game or orchestrating a game-winning drive. Marathon runners call this state "the runner's high," where they enter a flow state characterized by euphoria and peak performance.

Team Performance: In some cases, entire business and sports teams can enter a collective flow state during a game. This can result in a seamless, coordinated effort where players are in sync, making results and executing strategies with precision and confidence.?

“Success is simple. Do what's right, do it the right way and do it at the right time."~ Arnold H. Glasow

Basketball coaching legend John Wooden described success this way: "Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the total effort to become the best of which you are capable.” This inspiration to become the best of what you are capable of and enjoying the flow of real life and mastery or achievement as a process is what gives athletes so much joy under so much pain to endure and work towards their goals.?

Goal-Setting Theory: Research has shown that setting and working towards a goal can increase motivation and inspiration. Pursuing a goal can provide a sense of purpose and direction, which can be more influential than achieving the goal itself.

Never allow my humble beginning to stop you from reading; there is something inside us chasing success so hard that we miss the significance of moments when we can show up better for others. The idea of inspiring others -our spouses, our children, and our team - is motivating when conditions are good and momentum makes everything easy. But what about those dark nights of the souls when people desert you when you are performing at your lowest, at the bottom of your performance or life? When you need to get inspired, you, your friends, your family, and your team will often disappoint you.?

If you want to inspire and live the life that matters, you must be honest with yourself. You don’t have what it takes, no matter how great your self-determination, gifts, education, results, or network you have or don’t have. Regardless of your influence, you may have a total thrust of energy, but by the time you get home, the list of needs of the children overwhelms you, and you feel there is not enough of you to go around. Even in the emptiest of times, when you learn real-life lessons of inspiration, I hope you get inspired on empty with an overflowing full measure. When you have nothing left after systematic renewal and rest, may it be known that you experience a personal reformation that creates. A lasting change at home and work.?

Real-life Lessons are about real change. Changes that cost me everything, but in the process of following them, they produced 100 times more than what I poured into them. We pray and believe the ideas in this book, based on real-life stories, will inspire you to apply the lessons in your life and career.

Real Life.

Finally, an understanding that there is no quick fix to becoming inspired to overcome. Success is earned through hard work, discipline, key habits, and the discipline of consistency of positive choices compounded over time.

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan 'Press On!' has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.” -Calvin Coolidge

EVERY LEADER NEEDS A FRIEND

My name is Joey Stutson

For the past 10+ years, I have failed many times at many things, felt burndown boredom chasing dreams, and burnout anxiety pushing too hard to achieve. I hope to help people find Inspiration to know their purpose and gifts in real life.

This "crazy cycle" I write about has given me unprecedented access to investigate, interview, and get to know those who have achieved greatness.

Now, I dedicate my life to paying forward the enormous treasures I have collected from learning from inspirational people.

Request: I will submit a new newsletter as drafts for the book I have been writing to get inspiration, insights, stories, or feedback to improve the chapter and make it more impactful.

Let's get introduced: Message me on Linkedin or check out www.thestutsongroup.com