REAL GRATITUDE

Gratitude is beautiful.??We need more gratitude – real gratitude.??A few other things sometimes masquerade as gratitude, so let’s be clear about what it is and what it is not.??

Gratitude is a sincere feeling of thankfulness.??However, we sometimes experience what I view as a false or distorted sense of gratitude.??For example, gratitude is not:??

Blind optimism.??No matter the situation, just strive to see the glass half full!??No.??While optimism is vital, you cannot allow it to blind you from seeing your problems clearly.??Optimism can’t be used as denial.

A focus on how bad things could be.??I might be poor, but I could be poorer.??I might have bad health, but I’m still alive.??And so on.??This is a false comparison that, while technically true, isn’t likely to be helpful or motivational.??Gratitude is a focus on the positive, not the negative.

A simple love of material things.??The more anyone brags about things they have, the more they are likely lacking the right kind of love from other humans.??Material things are great, but they do represent a simple and sometimes tacky form of gratitude.??Be grateful, not a braggart.??

Personally flattering comparisons.??For example, “I’m so glad I’m not that guy.??He is unpleasant and no one really likes him.”??Gratitude isn’t something you should have at the expense of others.??Try not to conflate judging others with feeling gratitude.??

An excuse to not strive, advocate, or face conflicts.??You might think, “I’ve done well, so it’s okay that I did not receive the promotion at work.” Or, “Other than him, my team is great.??There is no need to deal with that one problem person.”??Gratitude should move you forward, not help you avoid things.??

A social signal.??Sometimes people do things because they think they are supposed to, because they know others will value the behavior, and because they wish to manage how they are perceived.??Thus, saying ‘thank you’ becomes a signal one sends with the intent of receiving a social benefit, as opposed to a sentiment one shares with no expectations in return.??

Okay, with those thoughts in mind… what are you thankful for???You can gain a bit more clarity by spending time thinking about gratitude (e.g., journaling, meditating, walking).??Then you can spend time sharing your gratitude with people you appreciate, both one-on-one and in groups (e.g., holidays, birthdays, vacations, team wins at work).??

That is time well spent.??I know that I am grateful for each and every person who reads this newsletter!??I hope to hear from you soon.

TODD’S TIPS

I know many of you are thinking about New Year’s Resolutions.??Don’t get overwhelmed.??Keep it simple.??Let me help.?Consider this:??start, stop, change.??To make yourself more productive, successful, happy, and healthy – what one thing do you need to start doing, stop doing, or change how you approach???Focus!??Nail that one thing, feel the achievement high, then define your next move.??Good luck!

WHAT’S UP WITH DR. D?

I’m cooking, hanging out with family, and writing a lot of notes!??I receive many messages and questions via email and LinkedIn.??It’s a blast replying.??So let me encourage you to reach out and say hello.??Got an issue that’s been bothering you???I’d love to hear about it.??A huge ‘thank you’ to each of you – books, courses, speeches, posts, this newsletter, etc. – I am nothing without an audience of kind, interesting, hardworking people who occasionally seek me out for advice.??I’ll see you next year to keep the conversation going!

Until next time – stay safe, go learn something, maybe help someone, or at least do something interesting!

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All my links in one place:??https://linktr.ee/drdewett.?

All previous newsletters here:??https://bit.ly/3zbXVqa.