Real

“Reality is not a thought experiment”. When I wrote that in “The Sniper Mind” I was giving words to the sensation that while, potentially, anything is possible and what is possible can only be defined by determining where the limits lie, through action there are some things that are more possible than others because of their underlying connection to what’s real.

“The real” as an expression we can understand was articulate in the early 19th century. And it has given rise to “get real” (in the 60s) and, in our social media times, an app that attempts to project an unfiltered version of who we are.

We prize real because we feel it’s authentic. It has a value that’s independently underpinned by factors beyond the human will or a person’s projection and, we believe, it gives us a better grasp on reality which then allows us to make, if not necessarily better, then definitely more independent decisions.

How does that apply to our social media presence or our marketing, or our values? How does it affect what we do when compared to what we think we do that must be measured against what we say we do?

These are questing questions. They peel back layers of projection and wishful thinking to reveal what truly lies beneath.

We may all want to “be real” or at least as real as possible but we also need to in different contexts, appear successful, feel attractive, be seen as intelligent, act competent and look capable. Beneath these layers of projected behavior lie real needs for daily survival.

Nowhere, in this complex matrix of layered interactions between our internal world and our external actions is there space for vulnerability and openness, attributes which, by definition, make us feel weak and exposed.

And yet, in a complex world where every decision and every action, even minor ones, have a certain degree of complexity that commands an energetically demanding mode of operation from us, being real (which entails being vulnerable and open) is the one true shortcut we have to consistency in our behavior. Consistency helps us nail our values and determine our tolerance levels which, then makes it easier to navigate the complexity of the externally perceived reality and achieve what we want at a lower energetic cost to us.

Basically, “being real” makes it easier for us to survive long-term. In the everyday world of our existence being real requires us to have an irrefutable presence. Being real requires us to have an impact in the world around us, otherwise we are just a ghost existing in the cracks of the world.

In “Intentional” I wrote about identity and how we form it in relation to those around us or more precisely, in relation to how we view our self, how others view us and how we behave because of the way we think others view us.

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Customers and employees form their identity by our reflection on them. Their own aspirations, in turn, help define our behavior as bosses, managers and business owners. We can all play roles for a while but sustainable ties with sustaining outcomes require something deeper. Something more real.