Real Confidence is Accepting Yourself

In any speaking situation, your biggest potential opponent is you. It's not the expert who's also on the call or in the meeting, or the audience member who appears hostile. The story you're telling yourself is vital to your confidence - so you must tell yourself a positive story.

When I make a silly mistake, I sometimes insult myself verbally. This is a habit, and not a helpful one. Immediately assuming responsibility - and a low-status position - has probably programmed my subconscious to have a low opinion of myself.

However, I've taken action to undo the negative effect this ritual; you can do the same:

1. Take a moment to look at the facts and what the situation will be in, say, an hour's time. Then a week's time. How will you feel about the situation by then? You probably won't really care; the issue won't have any real significance. So, learn what you can from it and then relieve yourself of its associated pressure.
2. Look at what you consider to be your 'faults'. They're not faults; they're just part of you, so accept them completely. You're sometimes late or slightly chaotic? These are human aspects and they make you who you are. By rejecting them you may be bringing a negative judgement that is certainly not useful to you. Let it go, this will make you stronger.
3. Use mantras such as 'I have strength in my heart and in my mind' to relax your subconscious. (It's important to say each mantra out loud for it to have the strongest effect. This may seem silly. It's not.)
4. 'Mini meditation': whenever the opportunity presents itself, taking a moment to feel the mental calm that is happening; it could be a couple of minutes while you're doing a household chore, or a cup of tea between work tasks. (Grab these brief moments when you can; using them is better than waiting until you have half an hour of your own time after the kids have gone to bed and you have the motivation; that moment may not come today.)
5. Show others that you accept yourself. In your communication, your audience will look for emotional guidance on how they should feel about what's happening, so own any errors you make and show them that, while you appreciate the significance, it doesn't make you feel 'bad', but simply 'human'. Just like everyone else.

You have a wonderful set of talents. Add to them with a sense of self-value and confidence.