Real Chef

You know a old timey Real Chef, by his burns; oven taps, grease splatter, hot pan handle imprints, broiler singe, white jagged scars, steam (the worst) etc...Real Chef has finger cuts, chopped off nails, uneven thumbs, some kind of skin reactions (shellfish), stabs and scrapes, irritated the hell out of me. Real Chef never wore plastic gloves. Real Chef smoked like Vesuvius, outside on the dock with the crew. Real Chef cursed like a Mother F. Real Chef had a sallow complexion, never enjoying enough sunshine. Real Chef drove big ass cars, the only peace/comfort on a drive in or out of work. Real Chef was an impatient SOB most of the time. Real Chef always needed a haircut, never had time. Real Chef had favorites and non-favorites on the line. Real Chef would brow beat a stupid one like a three year old at Kmart.

Real Chef occasionally would go berserk because of the dishwashers radio station. Real Chef had to be held back/restrained on food complaints deemed bullshit. Real Chef was always flirting with the waitress who put out. Real Chef would throw shit when necessary to make a point. Real Chef would toss slackers out before weekend service... working short to maintain the hard ass image. Real Chefs would always have a two day old newspaper. Real Chef washed dishes when the dishwasher called off. Real Chef would gamble at the drop of the hat, horses were the demise of many a white coat.

Real Chef yells violent payback when he notices one of his knives is chipped...nobody knows nothing. Real Chef cooks on the line lunch and dinner, inspects every dish. Real Chef sticks it to a wise guy waiter, with hot plates under the broiler at pick up time. Real Chef tallies up the breakage, collects from the unlucky waiters at the end of the night...money go's to the house fund.Real Chef knows conspiracy in the ranks and cuts out the poison cow on their day off. Real Chef always sending a waitress for a Lottery ticket.

Real Chef can curse and understand dirty talk in five languages, knows when punks threaten to put the evil eye on him. Real Chef never believes the menu prices are enough. Real Chef naps in the car after lunch service...do not wake him. Real Chef changes his dirty apron, coat , combs his hair, splash Old Spice before going in the dining room.

Real Chefs feet, legs, back, neck always in constant pain, swearing to go right home to bed, only to race off to the after hours club for a Chicago hot Beef sandwich and beer. Real Chef was always hiring and firing, sometimes suffering retaliation with a flat tire or dog crap on the front seat. Real Chef would weigh everything trying to catch a chiseling suppler cheating. Real Chef eats the employee meal just like everyone else before service. Real Chef works sick unless of a car accident, deep snow or hospitalized. Real Chef always had the wife call in if he was running late. Real Chef would snap out once a year realizing he wasn't getting paid enough and threaten to quit. Real Chef stalked many a waiter for sneaking food during service. Real Chef knew who was stealing via a vast informants network. Real Chef chunked up his game when another chef was spotted in the Dining Room.

Real Chef never backed away from a punch up, especially when the whole crew jumped in to help. Real Chef lent money knowing he would never see repayment. Real Chef feeds anybody at the back door who was hungry. Real Chef would on occasion give full Marlboro or Winston packs out as reward. Real Chef Cooked for the orphan Christmas Party on Monday...his day off. Real Chef knew his customers food addictions. Real Chef would leave the line to bull shit with steady customers. Real Chef after a busy night, would buy a Budweiser for the back of the house crew. Real Chef cooked off menu dishes for people he liked, and people in the business. Real Chef always had Iodine, Band Aids, aspirin and rubber bands in the medical drawer.

Real Chef had kids, car payments, mortgages, braces, bad roofs as well as fantastic understanding wives. Real Chef was just an average Joe at heart. Real Chef was human, defiantly not perfect. Real Chefs always remember the good people and funny times.