Real Change

“Out of habit we look through people not at them.”?

- Sharon Salzberg

If you are reading this blog for the first time, a few weeks ago I went to Mexico for a Happiness and Fulfillment Retreat. It was truly incredible and I had the opportunity to learn from incredible minds. This is the 3rd blog in the series of “What I learned at My Retreat!”

Catch up on the last two blogs on What I Learned at? My Happiness Retreat:

4 Steps to Happiness

Happiness Unlimited

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I needed REAL CHANGE! Have you ever felt that way? Have you ever had the wake-up call!?

I woke up about 5 years ago, my mind was a fog. The thoughts of what I “should” have done, what I “could” have done, the persistent question - “why did I do that” - they had literally taken over my brain. I knew that I needed to bridge the gap of what I knew about meditation and quieting my brain and what I was doing. I began researching who and what could help me! NOW!

I started religiously following a few people and one of those people was Sharon Salzberg. And lo and behold, there she was a surprise speaker at our retreat! What a gift. If you don’t know about Sharon, please check her out - www.sharonsalzberg.com and her new book Real Change available at the end of the month… (which is why today’s blog is called Real Change)! - https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/realchange/

It’s hard for me not to morph the years of learning from Sharon and the session together…so here’s what I was reminded of, learned from the retreat, and excited to share.?

Mindfulness, quieting the mind and staying present, is a muscle. Repetition is what gives us the skill to be able to quiet our minds and stop the chatter.?

I loved when Sharon said, “When we try to stop our minds from wandering, it’s like a DEATH GRIP and wanders more. The action of coming back to being present is like a butterfly landing on a flower.” We just lightly begin again and again and again. Instead of getting upset, we just notice our wandering mind and come back to the present over and over. That is truly the celebration and the key to rewiring our minds.?

We cannot stop the feeling from coming. And when we notice it, we see it, let it go and begin again. While giving ourselves love and grace.?

The more we resist, the more the thought persists.

When people say that they cannot meditate because their mind wanders too much - that is the meditation! Noticing and beginning again.

SO IMPORTANT! Sharon talked about Loving Kindness and how hatred will never cease with hatred, it will only cease with love! How do we love ourselves and others??

Do I only love myself if I don’t make mistakes?

Love and openness can be developed for ourselves and others by:

• Gathering my attention
• Arriving (I’m here, now)
• Paying attention (noticing when I drift)

We get so caught up in what we think is happening around us. We get annoyed when we’re in traffic, BUT we are part of the traffic! We have a sense of centrality and that everything is happening around us. But truly the solution is all of us as we are a part of the whole!?

What happens when I need to let go? When I need to start again…

Sharon reminded us all that there is no wrong way to meditate. It’s not what you’re doing, it’s how you are with what you’re doing.?

Healing is not in the wandering. It is in the return!

If you’re doing it, you’re doing it right!

When I hear things I “think I know or I’ve heard before” - I immediately ask myself - “What am I doing with that information? How can I implement it even more because I’m obviously hearing it again for a reason!”?

Sharon reminded me why I meditate, and that day after day I begin again. There is no right or wrong. We just come back like the butterfly on the flower. Not holding on to any “zen” feeling. Knowing that my awareness will come and go and then I get to begin again.

I am reminded that beginning again and again creates the REAL CHANGE!?

The real change to be my best self inside so that I can be my best self on the outside for my family, friends, colleagues, clients and everyone I touch. I am part of the traffic and I am part of the solution!