Reading the Tides: Leadership Lessons from Low Waters

On a beautiful fall day here in the northern neck of Virginia, anyone visiting the beach might see nothing but perfection. The temperature was near 70°F in November, skies were clear, and the view was breathtaking. For many, it would seem like the best possible day—a rare warm autumn afternoon at the water's edge. But as someone who’s spent years visiting our little fisherman’s cabin, my eye caught something different. The water was at a historic low, the beach stretched further than I’d ever seen, and in the distance lay signs of distress: birds and small animals affected by the drought’s severe lack of freshwater.

In my work speaking with leadership teams and in my book Go Ask Your Mothers, I emphasize open, overt communication—talking with employees directly to understand their needs and challenges. However, just as the signs of the drought were visible to someone who knows this beach, leaders who are genuinely present in their organizations can pick up on subtle cues of well-being, even without explicit conversations. It’s about honing an awareness that allows us to see past the “blue skies” and recognize when something may be amiss.

Observational Leadership: Seeing What’s Beneath the Surface

For many leaders, the instinct is to ask, listen, and engage openly with employees—and that is essential. But there’s a complementary skill: observational leadership, where we rely on our experience, intuition, and understanding of our team’s “usual state” to notice when something doesn’t seem quite right. This might look like:

• Noticing Changes in Energy: Are once-engaged employees withdrawing, or is there a drop in enthusiasm during meetings?
• Picking Up on Behavioral Shifts: Are people who are usually prompt and focused now missing deadlines or exhibiting signs of distraction?
• Reading the Room: During a regular check-in or a casual team gathering, do people appear more fatigued or tense than usual?

Just as I noticed subtle signs of struggle on an otherwise stunning beach, a leader who’s consistently present in their organization can pick up on shifts in their team’s atmosphere before a crisis hits. To a visitor, it might look like a perfect day; to a leader, the deeper challenges are unmistakable.

Why This Matters for Organizational Health

When leaders develop this kind of observational skill, they can act quickly and empathetically to address potential issues before they become significant challenges. They’re not waiting for employees to reach a breaking point or to explicitly ask for help. Instead, they’re staying attuned and creating a culture where support is proactive. This can mean offering a check-in, or simply acknowledging when things feel “off” and asking if there’s anything that might help lighten the load.

For working parents, especially new moms, this attentiveness is invaluable. Transitioning back to work after having a child is a particularly demanding season of life, one where emotional and physical reserves are already stretched thin. Many working moms hesitate to bring up challenges for fear of being seen as less committed or capable.

Leaders who can proactively recognize when these team members may need extra support, flexibility, or simply an acknowledgment of their dual roles are more likely to retain their best talent and build a truly inclusive culture.

Even on the most “beautiful day”—when everything appears calm and successful—a leader who’s tuned in will notice when the tides are lower than they should be. This attentiveness can be transformative, allowing leaders to build not just successful teams but resilient ones, where people feel seen, valued, and supported, even when they don’t have the words to ask for it. For working moms, it means they’re part of an environment that respects their full lives and strives to make work a sustainable, welcoming place to thrive.