Reading People and Self-Awareness

Knowing yourself is enlightenment. But even better than knowing yourself is knowing others and their real intent.?

Some of us spend a lifetime attempting to learn about who we truly are via feedback and self-assessments of various sources. I salute such individuals! One can know others by knowing oneself.?

We all seem to just have that first perception of someone without internally analyzing the first impression or “gut” feeling we have about that person. With our unconscious biases, we tend to immediately label and categorize others. I am fascinated by human behavior. The question of "why do we do what we do?" always permeates my mind. As the president of an organization such as CSFI, I work with hundreds of people and interact with thousands. “Reading” people with accuracy goes far beyond the immediate first impression. It is an ability I continuously aim to refine as a critical skill needed to lead a cybersecurity organization, manage people, support American national security, and influence thought.?

We can all benefit from acquiring such skills! Allow me to frame this in the context of cybersecurity for a moment. As a mantra in the cybersecurity industry, we often discuss the weakest link as the human. It is true. We are the weakest link, and despite having proper protocols or expensive technologies in place, many breaches occur because we fail to fully recognize the insider threat, which could be proactively identified better by accurately reading and understanding people.

I will share a few tips on how to better read people and shape how others perceive you based on years of my professional experience in business and in the field of national security.?

1- Learn your MICE! MICE stands for Money, Ideology, Coercion, and Ego. I use this simple HUMINT framework to quickly assess intent and motivation at times. Some people are motivated by money, others by ideology (really caring about a cause), others need to be coerced, and some are motivated by ego (fame or notoriety). Although this framework was developed by the Central Intelligence Agency to recruit spies, it can be used daily for a rapid human-read, no matter your profession.?

2- Learn how to read body language. The body talks, and it is louder than words. People reveal so much by how they move; it is astounding! I will share a personal story with you. At home, we have a library, a sacred place of learning, where more serious talks with the kids occur. There was an activity we would do with our kids growing up where they would read a few pages of a book from the library. After acquiring the essential knowledge of a given chapter, each kid would stand up and brief the rest of us on that chapter's main takeaways. We would observe their body language and their ability to transfer knowledge. The body language part was always fun! We would all attempt to read their body language and provide feedback for improvement. That is called body language coaching.?

Here are a couple of excellent YouTube links on body language I would like to recommend:?

Joe Navarro, Former FBI Agent Explains How to Read Body Language | Tradecraft | WIRED

Susan Carnicero, Former CIA Officer Will Teach You How to Spot a Lie l Digiday

Mastering this art can help you to rapidly frame your human approach when interacting with people.?

3- Your first impression is everything! Several studies point out that people have between 3 to 27 seconds to make a good first impression. First impressions can be long-lasting. Prepare yourself to give a good first impression on video and in person.?Know what your body language is saying to others, and understand the image you are projecting; you can control this by your level of professionalism, respect, and self-awareness of your own biases.?

I hope these quick tips can help you become a more polished, savvy professional.?Just remember to be yourself above all.?Use these tips to help you read your own self and others with the intent to create trusted relationships.?

Dr. Paul de Souza, CSFI Founder