Read This If You’re Just Starting Your Journey

But, like how did you start, you know?”

* the Following article is from my regular newsletter about mental health, social anxiety, careers, and more. Click here to subscribe for free!*

Almost every day I get a message from someone on the internet or a person in real life that asks me something along the lines of the question mentioned above.

Some, because they see my success today and can’t fathom how I started working on my empire from nothing. Others, because they want some success of their own and want to learn how I started so maybe one day they will also start their transformation journey.

Your journey will differ depending on the kind of person you are and what your past has looked at and many other factors that make us human. Nobody’s journey will reflect your own. You can borrow concepts and try your best to copy and attempt to do things but that will only bring you so far.

That’s why this is so hard. Nobody in life can give you a “Hey, here’s a guide to Finding {Your Name} Best Life Adventure Story in 24 Hours” If that existed (which a lot of terrible marketers think so) that would be a massive rip off and scam.

I want to take you down my journey and then break it down into fundamentals and critical lessons I had to learn to make what my life is today happen, and hopefully you can take some of these universal elements and apply them to your life and make stuff happen too.

1. Pain Is the Pressure Cooker

Like many of us on planet earth. I have been lucky in some ways and unlucky in other ways, when it comes to my childhood struggles, deep pains and trauma. Growing up, I had a tremendous issue with experiencing life itself. Looking back at past events, aside from problems I faced growing up like poverty, health issues, racism.

I felt like I had a deep psychological issue with experiencing life itself. My psyche felt like it was always fighting, resisting what I experienced before my eyes in a way that I didn’t understand when I was in the middle of it then.

The reason why I was able to get up, change my behavior, and blow up my life in 2016 was because there was much unaddressed pain bubbling deep down that was starting to reveal itself later in hidden ways. I realized that if I didn’t address this right now it will only get worse, as I had countless examples of people seen around me who struggled with addiction, obesity, poor mental health, poverty and I knew I didn’t want any part of that.

In other words, I got so sick and tired of being sick and tired I said screw this.

So sick and tired of constantly being locked into my own mind, not being able to express who I am, struggling with my emotions of deep sadness, disappointment, regret, anxiety on a moment to moment basis.

I also realized that I had so much potential on the inside of me. So much god given potential that I had seen in mini-moments all throughout my life of me being my true self. To not use that pain is a deep saddening existential fact that chips away at your soul daily.

2. Magic Moment Parting the Clouds Doesn’t Exist

All throughout my life I was waiting for my white night to bust through the door and change my life, just like a Disney Princess movie. What I learned is that when you give power to a perceived authority figure like a famous person, parents, teachers, etc. You devalue yourself and do not see yourself as a person of value. How could an invaluable person such as yourself possibly do anything to change their lives?

There was no point on my journey, neither the hundreds of people I’ve interviewed a moment where the clouds in the sky parted and they were hit with a lightning bolt of inspiration.

It’s all on you.

Personally, for me pivotal moments came every few months in my life between 2016 and 2017. I’m not going to cover each one but one that stood out to me in particular was towards the end of 2016. I was just recovering from obesity, and lost all the weight I had gained previously, and was trying my best to live a healthy life. But, I wasn’t 100% all in, at this point I was still flirting with my self-development journey and was treating it like a hobby.

I had this moment when I took a nap in the middle of the day and woke up with a feeling of stuckness & ambiguity and realized I was still lacking initative in my life. A moment where I was still expecting other people to come save and help me change my life. I got up in a second, put my shoes on and began walking to Target. I bought a whiteboard to help envision my goals and a journel to architect and document my thoughts & ideas.

3. Fear Is Your Compass

There is no map in life. There is just a compass and it’s called fear. 

Growing up I had terrible social anxiety. I could never talk to anybody I didn’t know and any days where I had to present for school I would either not show up or I’d spend 30 minutes in the bathroom first and then go up and whisper words I had written down on a piece of paper and walk away awkwardly.

Do you know what I do now? I’m literally a speaker. I’m giving my first TEDx talk in a few months and get hired by some of the top companies & conferences in the world to speak my thoughts and life’s work to deploy a meaningful change at the organization.

Coincidence ? I think not.

“Fear is a compass that points you in the direction of personal growth.” 

- Mastin Kipp, Ep. 160

Of course, there are exceptions but if you are terrified of something it means you should do it. Speaking no longer terrifies me but writing a book and then going on a speaking tour about that and showing my hard work to the entire world in a package is terrifying. 

Beginning to reframe Fear in the form of a question is pivotal to opening up your mind. Logical information will never be received by the brain if it is closed. You begin to loosen up your mind by reframing the box it exists in by asking a reorienting question.

Example: I’m about to go on stage and I feel my heartbeat hard and my thoughts race. Instead of saying to myself oh wow I’m nervous and what if I mess up? Ask yourself is perhaps my brain gearing me up and producing more oxygen for me crush it on stage?

You need to chase and hunt down your biggest fear.

4. Mental Health = Progress of Your Success

It almost seems like I talk with young and old entrepreneurs on a daily basis who just recently began transforming their life and all they talk about is the business, money, and material success. They are framing their identity in reference to the amount of money or followers their brand or business did this month.

This is the classic entrepreneurial trap.

I fell into it many times. Personally, for me I made all the money I could ever want for myself in my life early on as a teenager. I quickly realized that even when you have all the money you want to get you whatever you want, that does not equal happiness or any long lasting feeling of success.

The best way to focus on growth & progress on your journey is 100x “self-care.” Your appointments, meetings, client calls, team strategy sessions should all come 2nd to the activities that will literally grow you and strengthen you as a person like meditation, quiet time, exercise, quality sleep, healthy food, etc.

Nobody does this.

Instead of grinding out sales calls at 6am, you take care of your mind, body and spirit you will be truly successful in every area of your life that you deem valuable. If you do this you can became insanely successful, it just might take a few more years than you expect.

My Upcoming Book - Screw Being Shy 

Release March 14, 2020 to be notified of its release enter your email in on my website: markmetry.com

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