Read The Room: The Surprising Power of People Watching at Work

Hello Friends! Ever find yourself acing the art of people watching while on vacation but struggling to read people at work? You’re not alone! I am excited to share this recent YouTube short (1 min) video with you, “Mastering Observation for Professional Growth” where I break down why this happens and how you can turn this skill into your secret weapon for professional success.

If you desire career advancement, productive partnerships, and happier workdays keep reading...

Most of us know that active listening and observation are essential soft skills, but do we appreciate their contribution to happier workdays, healthier relationships, and career advancement?

We gloss over its criticality when it comes to workplace misunderstandings, group dynamics, and plain old office politics. Ongoing conflicts and misunderstandings damage employee morale and productivity. All it takes is to be present in conversations, paying attention to, and understanding human nature. Humans are complex and we have our subjective realities. Enhancing your observation skills can serve as a get-out-of-jail-free card while navigating the corporate world.

Just start with talking less and listening more during conversations and in meetings. It’s not just about nodding and not interrupting during a conversation. Set your intentionality before meetings, stay present and you’ll walk away with hidden gems.

When you are not paying close attention to the other party and their motivations, you may inadvertently step into minefields.

Here are a few illustrative examples:

1.?????????? You are in Customer Service (or Sales) and thought you had a perfect explanation for an annoyed customer, and now not only do you have an annoyed customer - but an irate one. Why did that happen?

2.?????????? You work in a key corporate function, and you are sure that you acknowledged your teammate in a meeting with senior leaders. After the meeting, you get a frosty response from that teammate. You get a sense that trust is broken and she may never partner with you again. You are completely baffled by that cold shoulder!

3.?????????? Your boss invited you to a meeting with his seniors. All you want to do is impress your boss and his seniors. You are extremely well prepared and nail the responses. The next day, your normally friendly boss is avoiding you. Why? You're scratching your head and thinking, what happened here? Could it be that you committed the cardinal sin of “never outshine your boss” or “did you accidentally reveal a long-guarded department secret by saying too much”?

Why do these situations occur when we are convinced, we did everything to be constructive?? What did we miss?

Did you know around 75% of the time when we’re listening, we are distracted or preoccupied? An hour after a conversation, we remember less than 20% of it. Pair that with Peter Drucker, the management guru, quote, “The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said. “ Doesn’t that make you ask, are we failing at the most important part of communication?

Possibly, but let's dig deeper.

When most of us are preoccupied with our internal agenda during conversations, we miss vital clues, ?like a change in the tone of voice, a micro facial expression, or a random off-hand comment.

To illustrate, let’s say you have a manager who avoids conflict religiously, but you haven’t picked up on that fact yet. This boss will tell you all is good and if you take it at face value, you may pay for it later. This particular personality type is motivated by conflict avoidance and it’s essential to take the time to understand that motivation. This inherent drive will force the manager to share indirect feedback because they are afraid of your reaction. If you were not clued in on this motivation, you will completely miss the feedback directed at you indirectly! In this scenario, it takes listening deeply when that boss criticizes a trait of a third party. He may be providing you with some directions. Ask yourself, ?does this apply to me? Have I done something similar in the recent past? Don’t get paranoid, just stay aware.

If you are overwhelmed by this, know that you observe people effortlessly while relaxed and on vacation. It’s the group dynamics, supercharged atmosphere, and your internal agenda at work that trips us up, as noted in my YouTube video short.

To understand the people you work with, get to know them one interaction at a time. Be interested, be curious, and ask questions. Before long you’ll develop an uncanny ability to read between the lines, whether it's an email or a one-on-one conversation. ?If you pick up that they are seeking validation you could use that to forge a deeper connection by finding opportunities to validate them. This will come in very handy if that person is a direct report of yours.

Getting good at observation gives you a front-row seat to the silent symphony playing outside of the words being said. Strong partnerships and happier workdays will immediately follow as you get proficient at picking up on the hidden subtext in nonverbal cues.

As shared in the YouTube video and this newsletter:

1. Understand Why Vacation Mode is Different: ?Understand why we’re naturally more observant and tuned in when we’re not at work.

2. The Trap of Being in Your Head: Learn how our desire to be seen as competent can blind us to important details about others.

3. The Power of Micro-Expressions: Find out what tiny facial cues you should be looking for to understand what your colleagues are thinking.

4. Tuning into Motivations: Discover the importance of evaluating others’ motivations to navigate hierarchies and group dynamics effectively.

5. The Magic of Observation: Pick up practical tips on how to shift your focus from yourself to others to improve your observational skills.

By spending a few weeks focusing on others instead of ourselves, we can become significantly better at this art and grow our influence at work.

I ?hope you found this informative and valuable. Don’t forget to drop a comment and let me know your experiences with paying attention at work.

… and of course, please share the video with your friends and colleagues who could use a people-watching boost!

Stay observant!

Cheers,

Vidya

P.S. If you like what you see, please subscribe to this newsletter and my?YouTube channel https://youtube.com/@vidyaraman, so you never miss out on any of

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