Read this before agreeing to work for free.

Or, read this before asking your independent contractor friends to work for free.

 Has this ever happened to you?

• “You’re a web designer, right? Could you look at my website and give me some feedback?”
• “Would you mind designing a quick logo for me? I just need something for my business cards.” 
• “Could you help me write a cover letter and resume?”  
• “Are you free this weekend to help me change a few light fixtures? Since you’re an electrician, you can probably do it much faster than I can.”
• “My financial consultant recommended this investment plan, can you go over it with me and give me your thoughts?”

It's free to you, but not to them. It comes with a cost.

Here’s the thing. We all have talented friends—usually it’s knowledge, skills, or expertise they've learned and possess for their “regular jobs” for which their employer pays them. If your banker friend wants to give you financial advice over the barbecue grill at your weekend cookout, that’s fine.

But when you ask a friend who is a business owner, independent contractor, freelancer, financial advisor, consultant, or realtor — in other words, someone who only earns money when they put in the time or effort — you’re asking them to give you something of value.

It may not seem like much to you. It’s easy for him, right? He’s your buddy 

That may be true, but you’re asking him to spend time he might otherwise charge for, and give it to you.

On a related note, when you ask an independent contractor friend to spend the day helping you move, taking you to the doctor, or watching your children, you’re also asking them to give up income or personal time.

Every time you ask one of these friends for help, you may be putting them in a very awkward position. For example, if I have an article or proposal due the next day, I may need to follow up with interview subjects during working hours. Or if I take time out during the day (because my hours are flexible), I may be up until 2 a.m. working. Further, when I spend my week working on marketing plans or developing campaigns for clients, I don’t really want to do it in my free time…for free. 

I would do anything for my good friends if they really needed it. But most people have several friends they can count on to help. I suspect they call me first because I work from home and my time is flexible. But flexible is not free. Oh, and by the way, don’t approach your friends (with flexible work hours) by asking, “Are you busy next Tuesday? Because it sounds like you’re inviting them to so something fun and it’s really a little sneaky way to asking them to spend their afternoon with you at the doctor's office.

Don’t get me wrong. Asking a quick question or seeking advice is one thing. But when you ask for more, you’re moving into the “client zone.” So, following are some tips for approaching friends or family members to provide skilled or professional services for you.

(Many independent contractors do work or provide services for free, but usually to charities, non-profit organizations, causes they personally support, or people who sincerely need help and can’t afford to pay.

What you need to know about asking your friends for help. 

Do not make your freelancer, craftsperson, or independent contractor friends feel obligated to work for you for free. Realize that what you’re asking for is likely a much bigger “ask” than what you perceive it is. Here’s what I mean. 

1.    When you ask an independent contractor to do something, you’re asking for money. Freelance graphic designers, consultants, writers, attorneys, etc. would either be billing for that time, or spending it doing something they want to do, like spending time with their family, fishing, boating, etc. In fact, even if they have a full-time job working for a company, you're asking for time away from their family, activities and personal lives. And that’s worth something.

As an example, if someone asks me to help them with their resume, it will probably take at least 4 to 5 hours—including meeting time, writing, editing, and proofreading—to do it right. Then, they’ll realize they also need help with their cover letter. To find out what makes someone unique or particularly qualified for a position, I ask many very specific questions about their past job responsibilities, successes, results, and activities. Also, I need details about the position they’re applying for so I can customize their cover letter and resume to increase their chances of getting interviewed. And they’ll probably need several versions of the resume, cover letter or both, depending on the types of jobs they're seeking. That will take another 2 to 4 hours. So we’re at 7 to 9 hours. To make the math easy, let’s say I charge $100 hour — that’s $700 to $900. (Oh, and if you want me to format or design it, that’s another 1 to 2 hours.) So, you just asked me for $1,000.

2.    Asking a professional or craftsperson to do something “real quick” is (often) insulting. Most professionals or craftspeople who take pride in their work can't do anything “real quick.” It’s not in their nature. And if they’re making a living at it, they’re probably pretty good. So when you ask them to do something “real quick,” you’re devaluing their experience, skill, and talent. 

3.    When you offer money, you make it difficult for them to accept it. Assume you will pay them, don’t offer. Don’t ask or offer to pay someone; make it clear from the outset that you will pay them. We have paid a family member thousands to lay flooring, remodel a room, build shelves—because he’s a carpenter and it’s his craft. He has invested time, money, and energy in learning his craft. Even though he works for a construction company, this is how he makes his living.

In the case of a full-time business person or freelancer — whether a plumber, electrician, carpenter, landscaper, writer, graphic designer, marketer — start by assuming you should pay them. If you have a very close, personal relationship and he or she has insisted that they will do it for no charge, fine. Or if you have a reciprocal agreement or understanding that you will do things for each other, and the relationship is pretty balanced, also fine. Or maybe you offer your services to them, if it's something they really want and need. Unless it is abundantly clear that they are not planning to charge you, assume you should pay them. If they insist on not being paid, give them an appropriate and/or heartfelt thank you gift.

4.    If an independent contractor offers to help you, don’t assume they’re offering their professional services. In my non-working hours, I enjoy doing something different than what I do during the week; because otherwise it just feels like more work. I want to be outside, interacting with people, swinging a hammer, or playing with animals. Of course, it’s also the responsibility of the person offering to be clear. A house painter may say, “I’ll help you pack boxes for your move,” so it’s clear they’re not offering to paint your house.

5.    If you think you can’t afford it, think about what you normally spend money on. Money and time are similar in that we all choose how we use it based on our priorities. I think I don’t have time to clean my house every week, because I don’t want to. But somehow I find time to go to karaoke, work out at the gym, or watch late-night game shows with my daughter. If you have money to go out for nice dinners, smoke a pack or two a day (not judging, just sayin’), buy designer clothes or expensive athletic shoes, or buy electronics or video games, you have money to pay someone for their services. 

How to ask for “help” from your self-employed friends.

First of all, if you’re not willing to pay or you don’t have an explicit reciprocal agreement, don’t even ask.

If you do ask, say, “I’d like to hire you to work on my (whatever). Can you give me an estimate?” If they immediately say, “We’re friends you don’t have to pay me,” say, “No, your time and talents are worth something. I insist.” If they say no again, maybe they mean it. Plan to give them an appropriate gift when the work is done.

Or, counter offer with, “No, I’m going to pay you, but if it will make you feel better, you can give me the ‘friends and family’ rate.” This is the best of both worlds. You get your project done and they get paid, but they still feel they’ve done you a favor. 

If they do the work and don’t charge you, show your appreciation another way. Write a thank you note for small favors. Buy them a gift card to their favorite restaurant. Bake them cookies. Offer to babysit their kids. Take care of their dog while they’re on vacation. Mow their lawn in summer or shovel their driveway in winter (especially if you have a snowplow and they only have a shovel.)

Be creative and appropriate, but be grateful. A verbal “thank you” is probably insufficient, depending on the time they invested in your project.

The flipside: What to do when your friends ask for your help.

Sometimes, we independent contractors offer to help thinking we’re going to give advice, a few tips, or a little bit of time. Then, this small favor grows into a huge project. You have more questions. "Great, could you edit this 40-page dissertation I wrote about the role of women in politics for my PolySci class?" Your expectations are bigger than my offer. The next thing you know, I’ve invested 5 hours in this favor.

Maybe a friend or acquaintance asks for your help and you’re afraid to ask for payment. So you just do the work. Then you do more. Then they tell their friends and you do more work for more people. Now it's really costing you money and personal time because you don’t know how or when to say no.

If you keep finding yourself being tapped by people you know, and you don’t know what to do about it, keep reading. Again, these guidelines only apply if you’re too busy or unwilling to give away your time and talents. If you’re not busy and/or you’re happy to work for free, more power to you. But you might want to clarify that you're only doing it because you're not busy. (But wouldn't that be an even better reason for them to pay you?)

1.    Acknowledge your worth. Realize that your time and expertise is worth something, and make that clear to the person asking. You can ask them, "What's your budget?" This immediately establishes that you are a professional and this is your job. You'll quickly find out how invested they are in the project. Or, if you're feeling generous, you can say. “I can help you for an hour; after that I’ll have to charge you at $xxx per hour.” This helps them realize that you value your time, and it lets them know what to expect if they want you to do more.

2.    Set boundaries. I’m bad at this, because I really do want to help my friends and acquaintances. And I don’t want them to think I’m (1) soliciting their business, or conversely (2) willing to do whatever they need for free. But the busier I get, the better I get at it. My default is to say, "Take me to lunch and I'll help you as much as I can in an hour." (Yes, I occasionally work for food.) This works for phone calls, too.

3.   Qualify your friends just as you would prospective clients. “My minimum charge is $500 and that’s for an X-hour job. This is probably an X-hour job.” You’ll find out very quickly how serious they are.

4.    Don’t even go there. If you don’t want to work on the project at all or deal with the awkwardness, say, “I’m too busy right now to take on anything new, but I can refer you to an associate who does good work, and she’s very reasonable.” If they really want you to do the work, they’ll ante up.

5.    If you get in too deep, cut your losses. At some point, you may need to say, “I’m sorry, I just can’t spend any more time on this, but I hope I helped you a little.”

My family’s general rule is that if we ask someone we know and trust to do use their skills or talents on our behalf, we pay them. If they insist on not being paid, we give them a (hopefully) thoughtful gift.

Whether you’re the giver or the recipient, you have a responsibility to be fair to yourself and the other party. If you're asking, consider if it’s worth offending or perhaps losing a friend to ask them to work for you for free. If you're being asked to work for free or use your billable time, consider the precedent you're setting, communicate your expectations, and set boundaries.

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Katrina Olson is a marketing consultant, trainer/coach, content writer, and host of the award-winning monthly podcast, Market Boldly, available on iTunes and Google Play. She writes marketing columns for several publications, including tED magazine, Canadian Electrical Wholesaler, Hardwood Floors magazine and others. Also, she is currently serving as interim marketing director for a D.C.-based electrical distributor. A former college professor, Katrina’s mission is to help companies market better through education. She is the wife of an engineer and mother to two beautiful, intelligent, savvy teenage daughters. Katrina can be reached via email at [email protected] or through the contact page on her website at katrinaolson.com.