Reacting to Reactions?

Saturday, I came home from playing Racquetball and I was in a funk after losing badly. What compounded this was how dumb it is for me to hit this low when I get to play a sport I love that winning or losing has very little bearing on the rest of my life.

I have also come home many other times after losing or failing to complete a work project or hearing some news that unsettles me. While I don't often talk about this with my wife, my funk shows up with me, and she feels it. Then, she might react to me, which causes me to react to her, believing she is the cause.

This happens at work all the time. We react to reactions because wherever we show up, whatever happens beforehand comes with us, even to those who seem good at compartmentalizing.

A practice I have is to do a quick internal check on how I am doing. Then, I non-judgmentally allow it to be there, and then I turn my attention to how I want to show up. It is also helpful to remember that someone's reactions are so often due to something that happened before you and not because of you.