Reach out!! Seek Help/Offer Help..

This is a short Newsletter today. I am in a reflective mood.

Early this evening I was out shopping and I noticed a middle aged man looking a bit lost. Not lost in the sense he didn't know the local area, he just looked out of sorts. I set about watching him for a few minutes stealthily following him around the shop and he soon walked out without buying anything.

I followed him outside and as he got closer to his car I called out to him and apologised for interrupting his day but I just wanted to check he was OK? I explained that I understood if he just wanted to get on with his day but I felt it was the right thing to do.

He then went on to explain that he had walked out of his house after a row with his partner about finances and it felt like the last straw. I stood there and listened to him - he had felt a huge pressure to bring money into the home - Pressure he had placed on himself. He started to get upset and he apologised, to which told him it wasn't an issue and I was more than prepared to stay with him whilst he got everything off his chest.

Literally, a few minutes later, he had calmed down and said, 'I know what I need to do now, thankyou! He then shook me by the hand and again, said Thankyou. He went on to explain that had I not intervened when I did he was in the process to make some life changing decisions. Not as drastic as ending his life but he was so angry with his partner he was prepared to call her and end the relationship. In a calmer state he acknowledged that stress and lack of communication on both sides had a huge part to play in the breakdown of the relationship and he realised that he was so intoxicated with his own story, he forgot his partner also had a story. In front of me, he called her and immediately apologised to her and said he was on his way home immediately.

He got in his car and off he went.

If I hadn't called to him and ask him if he was OK and then actively listened without judgement, chances are he wouldn't have asked for help and he may well have carried out his threat.

Did, I feel awkward or nosey when I shouted out to him? Yes, I did. But I know the behaviours I saw and thankfully I wasn't too busy not too notice. By getting out of my own way and reaching out to him - Clearly, I made the right call. It may well have transpired that he didn't want to talk or didn't have an issue but my concern was coming from a good place.

Are you too busy to notice changes in behaviour of close friends, family or work colleagues?

Have you been in a situation like the above and didn't say anything due to awkwardness or not feeling comfortable in what the response may be?

Are you in need of help but don't want to feel like your a burden to anyone?

STOP! All in all, My day was put out by about 10 minutes yet his life changed in those minutes for the better. If he had children, their lives were impacted significantly due to me ignoring my awkward thoughts and feelings.

PLEASE DON'T BE TOO BUSY TO OFFER HELP OR SEEK HELP. Is there anyone in your life who, when you think about it now, may need an opportunity for an empathetic and non judgemental ear?

Go make that call now please and if you need support and you have no one you can reach out too or maybe you don't want to share personal stuff with close friends or family then pleasedo drop me a message.

Said with lOVE