Reach Out...
Hi.
Last week, I introduced you to the concept of the Pareto Principle and how applying that idea to your daily life is guaranteed to help you get more done by doing less.
And.
Sometimes, you can't do it alone.
Even if you think you can.
The Problem:?I Can't Ask For Help
This week, imagine you and I are hanging out together.
You can imagine where (since you are reading this and imagining it heh).
ME: "Hey, how are you?"
YOU: "I can't ask for help."
OK.
This is a tough thing for many people to do.
You might think statements to yourself like:
"People will think I don't know what I am doing."
"People are too busy to help me."
"I can power through this and figure it out"
... and on and on and on...
Sound familiar?
The Actionable Tip: Ask For Help
Reminder:
It's sometimes easy for some people to "just" ask for help all the time.
Some people want to offload their problem to you (or for you to come up with a solution FOR them).
OK.
So, if you are looking to offload your problem on someone else, that's not going to help. That's not delegating. That's not asking for help. That's uh... not good.
And. If you are looking for someone else to come up with a solution FOR you, that's uh... not good either.
So.
What IS a good way to ask for help?
Realize it's time to ask when you've worked on a problem for a bit.
Remember, especially at the beginning of learning something new we ALL suck at it... it's called being a beginner for a reason.
First question.
Are you addressing the real problem?
Assuming you are (and that is a big leap of faith in this article), I want you to write down the solutions you think might work.
Go ahead. Do that.
If you don't... PLEASE don't try to offload the problem to someone else or just hope someone else will come up wit a solution for you.
But wait. You told me to, "Ask for Help."
Yep.
When people ask me for help, the first thing I do is examine -- together -- the problem to make sure it is the right problem to be solving.
We can collaborate together on making sure the real problem is identified.
Next.
Are you coming to me with any proposed solutions?
When people ask me for help, and the problem is truly identified, I'll ask what solutions they have either thought of or tried.
IF the person requesting help comes to me with a big goose egg (no proposed solution), I'll ask them to think that through.
[ Side Note: Something that is HARD for me to do is to NOT offer "solutions" right away (when people ask me for help) and it's something I continue to work on in real life. Even worse (for me), it's NOT offering "help" when people don't ask for it. A conundrum of real life, huh. ]
Next.
We can then collaborate together on identifying possible solutions to the real problem together.
This works [almost 100% of the time] WHEN I remember to do that.
This also helps me help you.
When you ask (smile).
Your Next Step...
Think about the problem I've described and my actionable tip above.
Here is the part where?I need YOU to contribute YOUR actionable tip?for others who are reading this short article....
Please share ONE actionable tip in the comments below about how is the best way YOU go about asking for help [effectively].
This is me, asking you for help so I can learn how to better do this myself.
Thank you.
Michael Vizdos
Experienced BA who has worked in Consulting, Health, Education, Conservation, Tax, Transportation, and other state sector agencies
1 年Is there a two stage process going on here - the first being trying to establish what the problem / issue is, which could be an end itself, and then the second part being around what action do you want to take - acknowledging some problems may not have answers...
Principal Data Engineer – Enterprise Data Lake - CarMax
1 年Sometimes just asking someone (or something) to listen while you describe the problem can help. That’s called rubber ducking in the programmer trade.
Owner, LeanAgileTraining.com, Kitty Hawk Consulting, Agile Coach & Trainer, MBA, CST (Certified Scrum Trainer)
1 年Suggestion: Set up a Team Norm of "how we ask for help" in this Team. Some items might include [Examples!!]: 1. At least check these docs first. 2. We are ALL willing to help. 2b. Everyone is EXPECTED to ask for help sometimes. 3. If I'm really "concentrating" right now, leave a slip of paper and I'll get back in 10 mins. 4. The go-to people for X, Y, and Z, are Brooke, Jerry, and Ashish (respectively). 5. On some things, we might all have to work together to handle it. First step is tell the SM you have one of these big things (you think).
Agile Coach/Consultant at Metric 5
1 年I sometimes have a hard time asking for help, as well. I approach it from a collaboration perspective. I will ask a colleague(s) to jump on a slack or huddle just to talk through an idea or a challenge I am having. We generally end up brainstorming and sharing ideas and experiences and sometimes I am walking away from that with more than one potential solution.
It's not so much not wanting to ask for help as it not knowing what to ask help with. This state of confusion is pervasive and reflect a lack of legitimate mastery.