RE-TREAT

Boredom: something I once feared as a kid and now dream of as an adult! Seriously, I used to think that boredom was a curse. Now it sounds like a luxury vacation.

Years ago, I read The Journey by Brandon Bays, which was one of my first real explorations into transformation and healing. It was about undertaking “journey work,” which involves going deeply to a place of stillness — no activity, no stimulation, simply being at one with yourself and seeing what comes up. ?One thing Brandon wrote about really stuck with me: she described sitting in a chair with absolutely no distractions, doing nothing for days until she reached a moment of enlightenment. ?It sounded incredible, almost mystical. I thought, Why not try it?

It reminded me of monks or Buddhists who retreat to caves for years, doing absolutely nothing in pursuit of a glimpse of enlightenment. ?I wanted to do the same—to quiet my mind, face the stillness, and discover what might arise in that space. ?I imagined resurfacing after the weekend with an ethereal allure, walking more purposefully, understanding life, like a modern-day Gandhi.

So, I took myself off for a weekend, emphatically telling my friends and family I wouldn’t be available because I was doing this deep meditative exercise. The rules were simple: no distractions, no reading, no activity. ?Food had to be prepared beforehand because even cooking was considered a distraction. ?My only job was to sit and do absolutely nothing.

I thought it was going to be a transformative, wonderful trip.

But when I arrived at my destination, something strange happened. ?Instead of feeling serene, I did everything I could to avoid starting. ?Much like the undisciplined student who spends hours drawing up a study timetable, sharpening pencils, and laying out instruments, but never actually starts the study process, I procrastinated. Within an hour and a half of being there, I caved. ?I called a friend and invited them to join me for the weekend. ??The grand experiment was over before it had even begun.

I never did spend those days in stillness, and I didn’t reach that pinnacle of nothingness that I thought would lead to enlightenment. ?But that experience taught me something profound: I wasn’t just afraid of doing nothing. I was actively running from it.

When I think back to that moment, I now link it with the word boredom. ?Boredom — it’s the moment when there’s nothing immediate demanding our attention, when silence or stillness feels almost unbearable. ?Yet, in today’s hyper-connected world, most of us have become masters at avoiding it. ?With a smartphone in hand, we can easily distract ourselves at the first hint of a dull moment. Scroll through Instagram, check emails, play a game — anything to keep boredom at bay.

When I talk about mindfulness practices, people sometimes say, “Oh my God, I could never do that!”, as if I had asked them to eat live tomato hornworms (which I once watched on an episode of Fear Factor when I was - you guessed it - bored). ?But why? Why are we so afraid of boredom? ?And more importantly, what do we lose when we don’t allow ourselves to sit with it?

Perhaps it’s innate from a young age? ?I guess for kids, who thrive on stimulation and curiosity, doing nothing feels like they’re missing out on something. ?When I think back to my younger self, in search of Nirvana, I realize it wasn’t the lack of stimulation or having downtime that I feared. ?It was the discomfort of being alone with my thoughts. Without the distraction of screens or tasks, I’d be left with whatever thoughts or feelings surfaced — and sometimes, that can be uncomfortable.

I’d like to think that I have more staying power now, being a little older and hopefully more evolved, like a Wi-Fi signal that finally reached the upstairs bedroom. ?In my work, I help people on their personal journeys — whether it’s finding enlightenment, forming new habits, or simply facing the fear of sitting with their own thoughts. But I must be honest — there are limits to what even I can stretch myself to do. For example, I couldn’t attempt the spiritual tradition of Kaya Kalpa, or “dark retreats”, which seem to be coming into vogue now. ?This takes boredom to a new level. ?It’s an ancient Indian awakening practice where the teacher, or guru, is the darkness itself. The meditator goes into a room with absolutely no light and remains there for days, immersed in total darkness. The goal is to awaken a deep state of consciousness, seeking answers from within. ?Frankly, I find that idea terrifying and uncomfortable — a steep price to pay for mental clarity or treating depression and anxiety. ?It would trigger a panic attack just thinking about it!

When we avoid boredom, we miss out on essential opportunities for our minds to wander, which fosters creativity, self-reflection, and problem-solving. ?Neuroscientists have found that boredom activates the brain’s “default mode network”, responsible for deep thinking and creativity. ?Boredom also encourages mindfulness, by forcing us to be present with our thoughts and emotions, improving our well-being. ?By embracing it, we can slow down, reconnect with the moment, and find calm amidst life’s fast pace.

All of this makes me wonder — does the journey toward happiness, peace, and contentment really need to be so laborious, masochistic and mind-numbingly boring? ?I do think there’s a lot to learn from discomfort, whether it’s boredom or facing your fears. ?But maybe we’ve confused personal growth with the idea that it must be a grueling, monk-like ordeal. ?Sure, there’s value in confronting discomfort, but sometimes happiness is found in simple (dare I say, boring) pleasures — like eating a good meal, taking a nap, laughing with friends, or just doing nothing. ?Maybe the key is balance: a little introspection, a little fun, and a lot less taking ourselves too seriously! Sounds like what you’d experience in a transformational retreat, one where the lights stay on -a real treat.? Here’s an idea – call it EnLIGHTenment!

I give you A Transformative Retreat - Okavango Wilderness Retreats