Re-framing 'No' into an energy source

At first, hearing ‘No’ hurts, no matter who you are. But with this, I wanted to share the idea of ‘Re-framing the No’, which I hope can help anyone trying to push forward when facing rejection.

My youngest brother Juber graduated last summer. Like many students around the world, the pandemic flipped his plans upside down. He had to do the last semester from his bedroom at home, all end of university celebrations including his graduation were cancelled, and if that wasn’t enough, he entered into one of the toughest job markets in recent history too.

Where it would have been natural to be worried about the future, Juber used that time to pause, reflect and develop himself in a few different areas. Areas such as developing his mindset, learning new skills through part-time work, using the time to figure out what he wanted to do and most importantly understanding what he didn’t want to do.

During this period of working on his mindset, we discussed the idea of ‘Re-framing the No’, rather than seeing a ‘No’ as a rejection, seeing it as actually bringing you one step closer to a Yes. Instead of feeling like you've been told 'No' five times, it's actually bringing you five steps closer to a better yes. This re-framing helped flip the idea of rejection from a moment of pain, to something worth seeking and to keep pushing forward from.

I’ve lived this myself during the last 10 years multiple times (and still do today) from:

• Applying for 40+ graduate roles when coming out of University
• When changing career tracks and moving outside of finance, getting four no’s before a yes
• Wanting to launch Pupils to Professionals, but told multiple times no, it's not the best time
• Take flight podcast after about 10 episodes in, asking to interview a guest and being given a resounding no
• Property deals falling through in 2020 last minute due to COVID changing assumptions
• Many, many others :-)

Over time, hearing no has now become a source of energy, getting me one step closer to the yes every time. It also has the added bonus of becoming an indicator for me that boundaries are being pushed and that I’m continuing to grow, which I trust will help in the long run.

So with that view of ‘Re-framing the No’, I’m super proud to say that Juber after more than 100+ applications eventually found his Yes earlier this month, 8 months after finishing university. He started a role with a large multinational company and one of the best roles that he applied for too. And in parallel, his part-time work during that period has helped us secure and purchase a block of apartments, our biggest property deal yet with ‘Ahmed Capital Group’. What I loved the most during all of this process, is that Juber never doubted that he would eventually get to the best 'Yes' he wanted, a lesson which I’m sure will prove invaluable throughout his career and beyond.

I’ve recently been sharing this story with students that I mentor, to convey the message on how to ‘Re-frame the No’. The market is difficult right now, but this moment too shall pass and we will get through it stronger if we want to. Feel free to share this with anyone who you think this may help, and if I can help you further, I would love to connect.

Wishing you a great Easter break and hope to see you again next month where I will have an exciting collaboration to share too.

Shuwel