Re-Entry Readiness For Parents and Supporters

As I mentioned in my last article, back to school marks the changing of another season – the end of summer days and the beginning of chillier months. It also presents a whole new reality for students, their parents/ supporters, as well as for educators. New classes, new routines, and new challenges ahead means that back-to-school is a right of passage. It can feel like a really big deal!

Going back-to-basics means focusing on the foundations of self-care. Taking care and control of our hearts, minds, and bodies in a way that feels good and grounding. I invite you then, as a parent and supporter, to join me in going back-to-school by going back-to-basics. Let me show you how.

This is part two of an article series on re-entry and back to school adapted from my newest white paper.

HELPING KIDS COPE

Helping our kids to cope with the inevitable emotional upheavals that any new school year presents becomes even more critical as we consider re-entry readiness. It is important that we as parents and caregivers understand how to be emotionally available or present with our children. When supporting your child, I like to use a three-pronged approach that includes caring for the head, heart, and body.

HEAD

Positive thinking goes a long way in helping us cope with transition and change. Give your kids a sense of control by modeling healthy, positive thinking. Affirming out loud what they are looking forward to, highlighting the strengths they have to succeed, and articulating how public health protocols keep everyone safe can help to set our child’s mind at ease.

HEART

Emotionally attuning to what our little people may be feeling and validating those feelings is also key. Encourage an open dialogue about how you both are feeling about the back-to-school transition. Let your child know that it’s okay to miss home or to be sad, worried, or unsure. Tell them that you will be missing them too while reinforcing what they can look forward to when they get home, like a special dinner or a family board game. Staying connected through daily check-ins and by spending intentional quality time with them whenever possible will go a long way in helping your child to feel emotionally secure. Together, you can set up a goodbye ritual or routine (secret hand- shake, anyone?), that you follow each day. As part of this, be sure to remind them when you will see them next as this can help to create a container for their time away.

BODY

Our emotions live in our body, and we can only experience them through the sensations our body alerts us to. Becoming more aware of how, for example, anxiety feels in the body can go a long way in loosening its hold on us. We can help our kids cope by supporting them to develop body awareness for emotional regulation. As practice before bed or even in the midst of big feelings as they occur during the day, ask your child to tell you where in their body they can feel something. Is it a rock or butterflies in their tummy? A tightness in their jaw? A lump in their throat? Learning how to tune into the sensations in the body gives us the power to work with big feelings. We can take some slow, deep, calming breaths and imagine the air is reaching right to where the sensation is, or we can place our hands gently over the part of our body that is holding the emotion and send it some calm. We can also use the body to process and release feelings. Stomp your feet, shake around, punch a pillow, dance it out, or go for a walk – all of this body movement can help.

IT’S ALL ABOUT ROUTINE

The past 18 months have been an epic disruption of any routines we used to know, so it’s important to realize that it is going to take some time for everyone to get back into the swing of things. We can be proactive and begin supporting ourselves and our kids in this tran- sition well in advance of back-to-school. Start talking about back-to-school routines today to get your kids in a mindset for success. Establishing a back-to-school countdown while gradually working towards bedtime and wake-up times that will need to be in place for September is key. It can also be helpful to set screen time curfews in order to ensure uninterrupted downtime.

As September approaches, make the weekly back-to- school schedule visible for the family. Knowing what to expect with new routines and having an easy place to look for reminders will help make this transition as smooth as possible for everyone, especially for kids who may struggle with separation anxiety. If possible, consider jotting down some planned family fun meals or activities as something for you and your kids to look forward to at the end of the school day.

Remember - as a family, you have no doubt created your own stay-at-home routines that I’m confident brought you all together in new and different ways. Have a chat as a family about those routines you’d like to continue, whatever they may be. We have an unprecedented opportunity to co-create our new familiar as we support each other in our re-entry readiness. Remember to keep what was working as much as possible and to take the lessons with you as you reintegrate your family back-to-school.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF

This has been an agonizing marathon for most parents and caregivers. You did it, though. You made it through somehow. Know that you have done a great job as par- ent over the last 18 months. It hasn’t always been pretty – there have been competing demands, impossible situations, a lack of choices, and limited capacities, but regardless of the challenges, you made sure that you and your family were safe and loved. You are a Rockstar!

As parents, we are naturally dedicated to helping our kids cope, ensuring they have everything they need to feel safe, secure, supported, and successful. At the same time, however, we need to remember to put something in our own tank – to fill ourselves up and be emotionally available for ourselves, too. The head, heart, and body approach works just as well for grownups as it does for kids. Make sure you are being kind to yourself, too.

If you will also be returning to in-person work, recognize the parallel experience of your kids’ returning to school and your own re-entry readiness process. Show yourself the same compassion, consideration, and patience that you are showing them. If possible, for the first week or so, consider returning to work with shorter work days until everyone can become used to the new routine. And take time for yourself. After the kids depart for school, see if you can carve out even just five or ten minutes, just for you.

YOU GOT THIS

In any season of change and uncertainty our resiliency and wellness can be heavily taxed. As we move forward, we need to prioritize our sense of safety and belonging, and we need to live within our values. This is me giving you permission to be honest with yourself about what you need, what you want and what you do not want. Be unapologetic for making time for your wellness and taking re-entry at your own pace. No one else can or will do this for you. Our own wellness practices and our personal readiness will be crucial elements for successful re-entry. As we move into this season of new beginnings, let us go bravely into the unknown, trusting that we will make the best decisions for ourselves with the best information that we have in the moment.

Embody a growth mindset by acknowledging not only how much you have gone through, but also how much you have GROWN through. We are now all knowledge holders of what COVID-19 did to the world. We are irrevocably connected and changed by this lived experience. And with lived experience, fresh perspectives are forged. It is only through experience that our perspective can expand. With our expanded perspective having experienced this global pandemic, let’s keep top of mind that some of us may be ‘returning to premises’, not returning to school. School never really ‘stopped’ and suggesting that we are merely going back-to-school minimizes the her- culean efforts each one of us has made these past 18 months!

My invitation for you is this: Rise to meet the road that lies ahead with curiosity of what is possible. Tuck compassion for yourself and others into your front pocket and hold the courage to trust that come what may, we will be okay. Let’s hope-forward together. Above all else, remember this, my affirmation for you from Everyday Resiliency: “You are stronger, braver, and more capable than you ever imagined.”

Take good care. You got this,?

Take good care,?

Dr. Robyne

For re-entry readiness for educators, read my full white paper or stay tuned for the next article in the series.?