Rational Holiday Weight Loss

It’s the time of the year our waistlines, mirrors, jeans and scales can seem to "scare the heck out of us."  But we are already wise to know that nothing outside of us "scares" us, but rather what we think about an external event creates the emotion. But if fear alone helped us lose weight, that’d be great.  But it doesn’t. Nor is it supposed to. To which we can all say together, “UGH.”

So you have spent all year obsessively – ok, maybe not so obsessively – measuring your “waist-hip ratio,” the less accurate “body mass index” or the more sophisticated “body fat percentage” and you are pleased with your numbers.  You are at an acceptable, if not ideal weight.  And along comes October, November, December and January.  To which we can all say together, “UGH.”

Don’t despair.  There are answers.  Here’s the simplest and the one you've undoubtedly heard the most to the point where you feel like going to grab a cookie: eat less and exercise more.  Rrrreallly?  OK, Michael get realistic.  Just thinking about Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Chanukah, New Year’s and Kwanzaa is adding inches to my belly, thighs and rear end.

Maybe that’s the problem, the way you are THINKING.  In my work in fitness and health psychology coaching, weight issues at this time of the year are among the biggest concern, no pun intended, that people bring.  And I regularly find that it’s the way they think that gets them into most of the stress they feel.  Duh. Where else does stress come from? So the way we think creates stress, whether it be about weight, relationships, career, money, or anything else you can name.

Here’s how.  Let’s say an “activating event” in their life is that they are are passing the best dessert place in town or attending an office holiday party and see some incredibly delicious looking pastry fresh out of the oven.  The seeming consequence of this event is that though full from lunch, and certainly not hungry, they give in and gobble up the triple rich chocolate cake."The cake was calling my name." Uh, no. Cakes don't speak.

They erroneously believe that the event caused the consequence. Just seeing the chocolate-chocolate-chocolate cake didn’t cause them to eat it.  Instead, they had another erroneous, unhelpful, irrational belief that connected the two events.  

Perhaps they think they would feel horrible if they didn’t eat the cake and couldn’t stand feeling so awful.  Or they think it to be unfair that they couldn’t eat what they wanted and foolishly believe that life should not be so unfair, especially at the holiday season.  Or instead they think, again inaccurately, that they are bad for having this desire in the first place and call themselves names like stupid, bad or weak for thinking about the cake. 

Want to avoid the cake?  Want to think rationally and accurately instead?  Dispute your beliefs!  

First, ask yourself the following:  Is this the worst situation in the world?  Is it worse than 100% bad? Can no good possibly come from this at all?  

In other words, do you truly believe you can’t stand feeling so awful?  And is it really horrible, awful, or is it just unpleasant?  The evidence is you ARE standing it.  And there is no evidence that it is horrible, awful or terrible. It’s just too darned bad.  You’ve lived without eating cake before and will again. 

Next, who says that your life, or anyone’s, must be a certain way, especially “fair”?  You’ve eaten cake before when others haven’t and that might not have been particularly fair to them, but somehow you all got through it.  Stop dictating how life should be—unless you have been appointed King. And even then, there is the Queen lurking around the corner to correct you.

Finally, what’s this idea about being bad or weak because you had a desire for a wonderful looking piece of cake?  Sounds frighteningly human to me.  Especially at the best dessert place in your town.

Assuming you are still thinking about your erroneous beliefs and not munching on a piece of cake, your goal is to find a more effective belief, uh, not a low-fat piece of cake. 

That more effective belief might be that life doesn’t always work the way you want it to and there is no reason it must.  In fact, life is not always particularly pleasant, but that doesn’t mean it is awful, terrible or horrible. And most importantly, it is typically quite bearable.  It’s unfortunate, but only unfortunate, that you were exposed to such a beautiful looking and obviously delicious piece of cake, but you can stand it, and wanting it does not mean you are a weak person.  In fact, true fact, you may feel disappointed but not anything more than that, not angry, not upset, not depressed.

Another error we convince ourselves about is that while we'd like to avoid gaining 5-10 pounds over the holidays, or lose the same amount before the holidays begin, we think, "Oh, this cookie won't make a difference in losing 8 pounds. It's just a cookie." We convince ourselves that eating that extra piece of pizza won't make a difference in losing all the weight we want to -- "it's just one slice." A cookie here, a slice there, and though we see these as discreet, it all adds up - which we know but would rather not know.

Enjoy the holidays, eat wisely, exercise smartly, and think rationally.