Rate Your Date—Before Getting Hooked

When you meet dates for the first time make sure to exercise your perception right of the bat.

The first impression that comes to you is always the right one. It’s essential to know who you are dealing with—as well as what you truly want out of the entire experience.

How do you perceive yourself?

How do you perceive your love life?

What do you expect to get from online dating?

To break this cycle of dead-beat dating, raise your standards.

First, look at your photo and your profile.

What are you really saying?

What are you telling others?

How honest are you being?

Having a suggestive look is fine but too provocative spells out, ‘I’m a bad girl and I need to be…’

Next, consider what kind of person you really want.

Is loyalty a primary value you seek?

Is it safety and security?

Or a casual love mate with similar interests?

Waiting months for someone who’s right is far better than dating an on again off again guy who’ll let you down, betray you, lie, and leave you staring into space wondering whether you’ll ever fall in love again.

On top of it, sleeping around is an arduous process. And very few women can do this without having their energy zapped out of them. It’s seriously unhealthy and, once the brief, sweet sounds of adoration are gone, there’s little you can do to get up again until you ride the pain.

In the online dating game, it’s easy for men to validate today and, once they’ve conquered, so to speak, move on to validate another.

When you raise the bar, you protect ourselves from the nasty game of hunt or be hunted.

Before you even work on your next pursuit, let’s work on you. Trying to improve your love life is exactly like trying to improve your home.

Look at the space around you:

Are there comfortable places, alluring colours, is your bathroom stocked with nourishing oils?

Fill your space with reminders that you are enjoying your sensual self.

Step by step, give yourself a makeover—clothes, living space. If you want a man to buy you flowers, buy yourself some flowers.

Give yourself the very things you want to receive from your beloved.

Because if you can’t make that visible, if you won’t invest in yourself, others won’t either.

Your inner reality will be painfully reflected back to you.

At the same time, you can't pretend your culture and differences don't matter. ..

Disclaimer: The information on this POST is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional advice. The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. All content, including text, graphics, images and information, contained on or available through this article is for general information purposes / educational purposes only, and to ensue discussion or debate.  

Thank you …Your bar is up and we’re ready to play the dating game with a fresh perspective. If you going to take the time to play the game, you can make the effort to know how to play. The basic rule: hit before you run. You best served when we refrain from impulse reaction and follow your gut reaction, or your “quick hit,” before you make a move.

To keep it simple, you’ll use a scale of 1–10, with one being the lowest.

Now take a moment and remember a person you know who has a very low, unhappy, negative energy.

Maybe he broke your heart. He’s deceitful, irresponsible, and emotionally abusive. Set that up in your mind with a rating of just one.

Move on now to envision an engaging, respectful, inviting, romantic, sensual, and secure energy—the person you’ve upped the bar for. Label this “energy” a 10.

So now there is a spread in your perception from one to 10 that you can use to evaluate the next guy that pings in with a “hello.”

Want to add word or two?  

Whether you’ve been married before, are married now, or have yet to find a committed relationship using gut checks to understand intention is applicable to pretty much any situation.

But when it comes to the realm of online dating, where many women are perceived as vulnerable, it’s invaluable.

if you want real love, you must learn when the motivation is pure, or, “as Brits say, it’s just to ring the bell

Your comment ….?

Using your energy scale, you can start training your mind to evaluate, or rather sense, people and situations.

When you do this with intention, a number will pop into your head. Do it throughout your day.

Practice on anyone and everyone—people at the office, the grocery store, a restaurant, the cab driver.

The more you do it, the better you’ll get. If you find that your mind is blank or fluctuating rapidly, take a moment, breath in and out while focusing on your heart area, until your stress stops inhibiting you.

For a date, you’re looking for anyone above a seven.

These people are exciting, engaging, and this is the sign you need to know to move forward to the next step.

If you accept anything less—a six or below—you’re allowing yourself to be pulled into a place that may suck the living life force out of you.

Phone calls are an excellent time to practice using your energy scale.

With the written word, we tend to reveal who we think we are (or, we flat out lie and say what we think others want to hear).

The voice is an energy of its own and gives you additional cues. If you don’t get an instant flash of a number, pause for a moment, continue with your call and, after you’ve finished, allow yourself to reflect and wait for something to come to you.

If your date feels gray or rattles your mind, try not to judge him. After all, a person can be right for someone else, just not you.

The Energy Scale:

1–4:

Avoid at all costs—seducers, addicts, gamblers, liars, and serial daters.

5–6:

Too emotional, depressive type, drag you down, will turn you into his mother.

7–10:

The closest thing to a love match. If you want marriage or at a minimum to avoid drama you can build a relationship with a 7–10. They have worked on themselves, are learning to be considerate, admit their ways, accept responsibility for their actions, and are reliable.

Above all, they are ready for a commitment. You feel safe, loved, cherished, and you can trust them.

This technique really helps broaden your perception and in no time you will know how to assess anyone from a serial dater to a love match.

For many women, online dating is an invitation for the thrill of a candlelight dinner and seductive conversations with a very spicy someone.

Yet, time and time again, what starts out as totally fun attention bubbling with sexual tension ends a few weeks later flat and lifeless. Seduced, and then ignored or let down, yet again.

Remember men often see online women daters as vulnerable. While we women think we’ve got what it takes—with our perfect portrait and profile—we are being, for lack of a better term, hunted.

Online dating may have changed the way we do business but it doesn’t change the business. In general, men are the proverbial hunters. Women, on the other hand, are receptors.

What can you do to spare ourselves from being seduced by lies, from becoming cyber-hooked by the wrong person—the one who leaves us pining for more while he or she is already flirting with the next best digital option?

You got two smart moves of your own: The first is to use your intuition and the second is to up the bar—because you deserve better.

A casual love mate still depends, no matter what, on who the other person is.

How well did you know the person before you became physically intimate?

Once you have sex, no matter how committed you both are to being just buddies, it requires a new definition of boundaries.

Casual lust struck me as impossible for YOU.