Rate Behaviour Rather Than The Self

As a doctor caring for elderly parents, you're juggling immense responsibilities both at work and at home.

The pressure to perform flawlessly in your medical career while providing attentive care to your parents can be overwhelming.

In this high-stakes environment, self-acceptance becomes not just helpful, but essential for your well-being and effectiveness in both roles.

Understanding Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is about fostering a positive relationship with yourself, acknowledging both your strengths and limitations without judgment.

It's particularly crucial in your situation, where the demands of being a doctor and a caregiver can easily lead to self-criticism and burnout.

The Unconditional Aspect

Unconditional self-acceptance means valuing yourself regardless of external factors.

Your worth isn't determined by how many patients you see, how quickly you diagnose a condition, or how well you're managing your parents' care.

It's about recognizing your inherent value as a person, beyond your roles and responsibilities.

What Self-Acceptance Looks Like in Your Life

When you practice self-acceptance:

- You don't feel like a failure if a patient's treatment doesn't go as planned

- You don't berate yourself for needing a break from caregiving

- You're comfortable with who you are, even on days when you feel overwhelmed

It doesn't mean you stop striving for excellence in your medical practice or neglect your parents' needs.

It means your self-worth isn't solely tied to your performance in these areas.

Evaluating Actions, Not Self

Self-acceptance allows you to assess your actions objectively without attacking your core self. For instance:

With self-acceptance: "I missed some signs in this diagnosis. I need to review this case and learn from it to improve my skills."

Without self-acceptance: "I missed this diagnosis. I'm a terrible doctor. Maybe I'm not cut out for this profession."

The first approach focuses on growth and learning, while the second undermines your confidence and well-being.

Key Realizations

As you navigate your dual roles, remember:

1. Making a medical error or feeling frustrated with caregiving doesn't make you a bad doctor or daughter. It makes you human.

2. You can work on improving your medical skills and caregiving approach without harsh self-judgment.

3. Your worth as a person isn't defined by your medical achievements or how well you care for your parents.

Being "Enough"

Self-acceptance means knowing you're "enough" as you are.

It's about feeling worthy of respect and care, regardless of the outcomes of your efforts.

This doesn't mean you never feel disappointed or stressed.

It means these feelings don't diminish your fundamental sense of self-worth.

Why It's Crucial in Your Situation

Cultivating self-acceptance is vital in your challenging position:

- It helps you maintain resilience in the face of medical challenges and caregiving stress

- It allows for better work-life balance and prevents burnout

- It improves your ability to provide compassionate care to both patients and parents

- It helps you make clearer decisions about your career and personal life

Practical Steps for Self-Acceptance

Here are ways to foster self-acceptance in your unique situation:

1. Recognize and challenge negative self-talk after difficult shifts or caregiving days

2. Celebrate your accomplishments, both big (successful cases) and small (making your parents smile)

3. Treat yourself with the same compassion you show your patients and parents

4. Set realistic expectations for your medical career and caregiving role

5. Practice self-care regularly, knowing it's necessary, not selfish

Remember, you're navigating an incredibly challenging path that you don’t have to do alone.

The goal isn't to be a perfect doctor or caregiver; it's to be a good-enough one while maintaining your own well-being.

As you balance your medical career and caring for your parents, self-acceptance will be your anchor, helping you face challenges with resilience and maintain your sense of self.

In moments of doubt or exhaustion, remind yourself: You're doing your best in an extraordinary situation, and that's more than enough.

Your worth extends far beyond your achievements or struggles.

Embracing this can help you be a better doctor, a more patient caregiver, and a healthier, happier you.

Let's talk, here is the link to my diary: https://zcal.co/elizabeth-rozario/Lets-talk

#dying #ageingparents #bereavement