Random Thoughts on Managing Conflicts

Recently, a newfound friend asked me about my thoughts on conflict resolution at work. He was curious to see how I have survived in leadership roles for donkey's years.

Conflict resolution is something all of us do consciously or unconsciously. We do it all the time in our personal life – with parents, partners, children, neighbours, etc.. You cannot avoid it unless you are forced to a life of total solitude or voluntarily choose a life of a sage who meditates in the Himalayas. Even the ruthless autocrats of the world cannot avoid it, though one might not agree with their methods to resolve conflicts.?

Unfortunately, in the modern corporate world, one does not have at their disposal the methods used by a dictator (total annihilation or deportation or imprisonment) nor the most straightforward option available in your personal life (walking away). You are left with no choice other than to resolve conflicts, and that too in a pragmatic win/win way if you want to sustain long-term growth.?

So here are my random thoughts on conflict resolution at work.

Have the Big Picture

Business decisions are not pure science where you have a precise & finite correct answer for a problem. At all times, people take decisions (or positions) based on (then) available data and make assumptions for the future. But the problem is that you can interpret the data in many ways, and there can be many valid assumptions. (Recollect the classic debate of glass half empty/half full).

How the cow fell into the ditch (slipped, pushed, or jumped) is not relevant when the big picture is to get the cow out of the gutter. Hence it is always essential to look at the broader picture during a conflict - what is critical? what is the purpose??Is the hour's need to fill the glass or empty it??

Identify the Key Drivers

Identify the key driving factor. Is it cost, time, quality, or something else?

· lowest cost (at any time and with an acceptable level of quality),

· shortest time (at any cost and with an acceptable level of quality) or

· perfection (whatever the time & cost)?

NB: safety is considered non-negotiable while we vary the above three parameters.?

Period of Impact

What is the impact period we are looking at during a conflict resolution - short, medium, or long-term? Do we have time for a course correction if things go wrong??

Dialogue with Open Mind?

Have discussion(s) between people or with the person with whom there is a difference of opinion keeping the above points (big picture, key driver & period of impact) in mind. Keep your prejudices and emotions out during the discussions.

Pitfalls

1.??Emotions. Do not attach emotions to problems. Remember, you deal with a conflict that impacts your business, and there is nothing personal about it. There is no loss of face or reputation if we move from the opening stand at the end. ‘My way or the highway’ does not resolve conflicts. We all want success, but winning the war is far more critical than winning a battle. Always remember that organisation’s success is your success.

2.??Prejudices. Like your emotions, keep your prejudices out. We all carry biases against others - positive and negative. Both can lead to making a wrong decision. We might quickly form opinions without critically reviewing the suggestions under both cases.?Anything the other person suggests is correct if they are considered a super performer (halo effect). Nothing worthwhile will come from the other side if someone is a novice or deemed as a mediocre performer (horn effect).?The halo or horn effect has the worst impact when trying to resolve conflicts within your team.?

The key is to be pragmatic. No conflict will be resolved if we are unwilling to listen and change (if needed).?

Footnote: There is a misconception that it is easier to resolve conflicts within your team than with your peers or with your seniors since you have the authority to decide one way or other. But this is where rushing to a solution may not be a good idea. Allowing a healthy debate of conflicting views to run its course often throws up an alternate solution not thought by both sides.

Also, as a leader, you have a role in mentoring your team. A leader who is willing to listen to views on merit is always trusted better and stands to benefit in the long run with more ideas and out-of-the-box thinking from the team. Hence it is essential to deep dive into both sides of the argument before deciding.?