THE RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS WE NEED TO MAKE NOT SO RANDOM - Written by Natalie Rizkalla-Kamel

I recently had a virtual coffee chat with an associate who just came back from maternity leave.?She said a few things that really resonated with me, making me think that we need to do better in the legal profession, and mostly in Big Law, when it comes to kindness.

She said, “I remember during my first meeting back in the office you sent me a message and said ‘Welcome back’ and a couple of years ago at the firm annual retreat you were really nice to me when you talked to me.” Her comments made me realize that we are in a profession so focused on hours and profit, that basic human interaction and kindness is sometimes forgotten. In the two examples she described to me, I really didn’t go out of my way to do anything other than be polite, yet it had such a positive impact on her.

I took myself back to the days of being a student and an associate engrossed in a world of high billing targets, a never-ending to-do list of both billable and non-billable work, and a lack of sufficient mentorship. Many times I felt overwhelmed, incompetent and exhausted.

However, small friendly and gracious gestures had a lasting impact on me.

Whenever I received unexpected “good” feedback from a partner over email or through an evaluation recognizing my efforts, I would read it 5 times over, and it motivated me to keep going and do better.

I distinctly remember being invited out to lunches or after-work drinks by a partner that made me feel like a valued member of the team and gave me a sense of community.

One time, a “corner office” female partner decided to nominate me for a prestigious award. She wasn’t someone I worked with all the time, but someone who believed in me and decided to take time out of her extremely busy day to put my name forward to the nominating committee. I ended up winning that award and it provided me with a sudden internal and external public profile that, in my opinion, was a pivotal turning point in my career (at least in terms of my own confidence).?

I also cherish those times when my peers would stick around at the office late with me, either for moral support when I was working on a challenging task or to talk out a personal crisis I was having.

And although I am fortunate enough to have champions that stood up to advocate for me throughout important stages of my career, it’s those everyday intentional acts of kindness, empathy and appreciation that really had and still have a beneficial impact on my overall well-being in this profession.

We often do not realize that positive interactions with everyone within your firm, no matter where they fit in the Big Law hierarchal structure, can make all the difference in someone’s day, their career choice and their overall mental health. And guess what? Various research studies show that connecting with people through these random acts of kindness can directly benefit you, including experiencing what is known as the “helper’s high”: see https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/the-science-of-kindness.

Now more than ever, after being isolated at home for so long, I encourage everyone to get out of their COVID lockdown bubble and connect. Help those people who can do nothing for you in return. Ask a new student or lawyer out to lunch. Hand-write a note of appreciation to someone you work with. Ask about a co-worker’s kids or pets. Send a note about a co-worker’s recent achievement to their boss or someone in management. Nominate a colleague for an award. Provide a shoulder to lean on during times of stress or grief. And just make an effort to smile and laugh with the people you work with.

Let’s all contribute to creating positive workplace culture with motivated staff, students and lawyers and watch the profession transform. Spread the word…and the kindness.??