Raison D’être

It is 12:50 a.m., past midnight. I've downed about 500mL of an energy drink, just enough to keep my eyes sharp as I sift through the fine print of my research literature. Sleep, of course, calls—its voice distant yet endearing—but I pretend to be oblivious to its soothing pull. Tomorrow is already booked with coursework and my contribution to an article that will list me as a co-author.

As I engage in deep discussions with ChatGPT, trying to grasp the boundary conditions for conduction through a composite wall, I sense that something crucial is slipping past me. Alone in my research cubicle, close to my lab, I pore over the material, determined to decode what I’m missing.

Then, like a flipped switch, clarity strikes—I've been conflating a region with a surface! With that realization, the analysis suddenly falls into place, transforming from a puzzle into a structured path forward. But beyond this technical breakthrough, I uncover something even more significant—an answer to the gnawing question at the back of my mind: Why pursue a PhD? Why research at all?

Why pursue a PhD? Why research at all?

It is for moments like this—when the light bulb flicks on and I catch a glimpse of the needle moving beneath the hood.

Passions take different forms. Some, like Kobe, are born for the game. To the world, relentless practice amid pain may seem incomprehensible, but for those who live it, the drive is fueled by moments like these—when proof emerges that we are chasing something beyond ourselves.

...we are chasing something beyond ourselves.