Raise your words, not your voice by Marc LeVine
Marc LeVine
Empowering Engineers & Advancing Careers | Talent Acquisition Manager, Blogger, Podcast Guest, Conference Speaker | Hiring those Built to Succeed in Control Systems Engineering for Thermo Systems
“Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder.” —Rumi, ancient poet
Sometimes a soft skill can sound like something we might wish to avoid.?Consider, ARGUING as one such example. Should we never argue our own points of view? Of course, we should. ?It is important to be able to articulate and persuade others about the "other side of the argument" but always in a professional manner. Being able to effectively ARGUE a thought or belief is an important soft skill that can help us succeed in a variety of professional environments.
While having a heated argument with another person is usually considered inappropriate, arguing a point if view is perfectly acceptable. It demonstrates our ability to take and defend a position we wish to take – even when others may not agree with it (at least, before we are possibly able to persuade them to).
Trying to convince others that our idea is a good one, relies on the ability to make a strong argument for it. ?Perhaps, an argument citing more than just opinion and one heavily supported by strong supporting research, facts and figures.
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Keep your arguments calm, rational and professional, always. It is not always so easy to do. Some topics can be emotional and trigger negative emotions within us and others.?Controlling emotions is key, as is being thoughtful in choosing the appropriate words, phrases and tone that are non-incendiary.?After all, we all have innate trigger points and must be careful in avoiding them. ?
We must learn to argue in a positive way and stay focused on the issue at hand while maintaining respect for the other person. Remember that disagreement does not mean being disagreeable. Arguments must always center on "attacking" differences of opinion and are never about attacking those people we may fail agree with. We all have a right to disagree and hold differing points of view. One size does not fit all among our world views.
The proper way to argue an idea is to remain open to listening to others' perspectives and trying to find common ground rather than focusing on differences. ?It can also be helpful to use evidence to support your points and to be as constructive as possible by offering potential solutions or compromises.?It is often a tough challenge to try and change another person’s belief or point of view, but it can be a worthwhile one.?It is usually an even bigger challenge to accept when we have failed to do so. We must be able to accept our loss and move on without anger.
Here are some pointers on being able to make effective arguments, without creating personal strife.
1. Listen to the other person's point of view. Try to understand their perspective and acknowledge it.
2. Express your point of view in a calm and respectful manner.
3. Back up your argument with facts and evidence.
4. Avoid personal attacks and insults.
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5. Stay focused on the issue and don't be distracted by tangential topics.
6. Be open to compromise and willing to consider other solutions.
7. Allow the other person to make their case without interruption.
8. Summarize both sides of the argument to make sure there is agreement about the facts.
9. Keep an open mind and be willing to admit when you are wrong.
10. End the argument with a resolution and agreement on how to move forward.
Too many of us have lost friends and alienated colleagues before realizing that we can have healthy disagreements with others and remain best friends and good colleagues.
The world is made up of many people holding many diverse points of view -- many of which we are sure to disagree with.?It is the diversity in thoughts and beliefs that add richness to our society. We cannot allow disagreement to create anger and disapproval.?We must all embrace diversity. Accept that there are BOTH similarities differences among us.?It is critical that we all agree to live and let live.?
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The Author
Marc LeVine is a graduate of Syracuse (NY) University with a degree in Industrial Psychology, Marc is currently Talent Acquisitions and Learning and Development Lead at Thermo Systems. He is the recipient of the Excellence in Talent Acquisitions Award from HR Awards in 2021.
His prior employment includes senior Human Resources and Staffing Industry management roles with Edgewood Properties in Piscataway, NJ, Brickforce Staffing in Edison, NJ, InfoPro Inc. in Woodbridge NJ and Plainsboro, NJ and Harvard Industries in Farmingdale, NJ, a former Fortune 500 company. He also served as Director of Human Resources for New Jersey Press, the parent company of the Asbury Park Press, Home News and Tribune and WKXW-NJ101.5. Earlier in his career, Marc served as Director of Career Services and Placement at Union Technical Institute in Eatontown and Neptune, NJ. In addition, Marc owned and operated Integrity Consulting Associates, a New Jersey based Human Resources and Social Media Marketing firm for 11 years. Marc also served as Council President in his hometown of Freehold Borough, NJ