Radical Respect in Polarized Times: Strategies for Leaders from Kim Scott

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In this episode of Redefining Work, I had a fascinating conversation with Kim Scott , celebrated author of “Radical Candor: Be a Kickass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity,” and her insightful new book, “Radical Respect: How To Work Together Better.”

Kim shared her wisdom on “Radical Candor,” its workplace application, and the genesis of her latest work, intended as a precursor to her initial book.

The Challenge of Leadership

One of the first things Kim highlighted was the inherent difficulty of leadership. She emphasized how most leaders are thrown into the deep end without adequate training.

"Leadership is really hard and very few people are taught how to manage other people before they start doing it. We all get thrown into the deep end."

This statement really resonated with me, as it underscores the importance of continuous learning and development for leaders at all levels.

Kim went on to share her own experiences of struggling with leadership early in her career, pointing out how the lack of proper guidance not only affects leaders themselves but can also drag down entire teams.

This is why she advocates so strongly for investing in leadership training and development programs.

Understanding Radical Candor

Kim is perhaps best known for her concept of radical candor, which she succinctly described during our chat.

"Radical candor is what happens when you care personally and challenge directly at the same time."

She also clarified a common misconception about radical candor, noting how it is often misinterpreted.

"Very often I'll be working with a team and someone will charge into a conference room and say in the spirit of radical candor and then they will proceed to act like a garden variety jerk and that is not the spirit of radical candor."

Kim shared a powerful anecdote about a time when a team member used "radical candor" as an excuse to be bluntly rude, which only resulted in hurt feelings and reduced productivity.

This story perfectly illustrates the difference between challenging directly with care and simply being aggressive.

She also talked about the challenges leaders face when trying to implement radical candor in a workplace that isn't used to open feedback.

?? The key, according to Kim, is to build a foundation of trust and show genuine care for team members so that when direct feedback is given, it is received in the spirit it is intended.

Receiving Feedback

We also discussed the importance of effectively receiving feedback. Kim shared a profound observation based on her experiences.

"The best feedback I ever got has come not from my bosses, but from the people who worked for me."

This perspective reinforces the value of creating an environment where feedback flows freely in all directions, not just top-down.

Kim recounted a pivotal moment at Google when her HR partner told her she was intimidating her team, which she initially resisted. It was only after running an experiment suggested by her HR partner that she realized the truth.

This humility and willingness to learn from those you lead are crucial for any effective leader.

Kim also offered practical advice on soliciting feedback. She emphasized the importance of asking specific questions and being prepared for discomfort.

"Think very carefully about how you're going to ask. If you say, 'Do you have any feedback for me?' you're wasting your breath. Nobody, especially not the people who work for you, wants to give you feedback."

Instead, she suggests asking questions like, "What can I do or stop doing that would make it easier to work with me?" This approach encourages more honest and constructive responses.

Creating Respectful Work Environments

Kim's new book, Radical Respect, builds on her previous work by focusing on respect in the workplace. She discussed the need for designing management systems that promote respect.

"If you don't design your management systems to be respectful, you're going to get systemic injustice."

Kim explained how even the best-intentioned leaders can unintentionally create environments of systemic injustice if they don't proactively design their management systems to promote respect.

She used Google as an example, noting how their management systems were consciously designed to foster a respectful and inclusive culture. This helped her realize that such environments don't just happen by accident; they are the result of deliberate and thoughtful planning.

She also shared personal stories from her time at Google, highlighting the positive impact a respectful work environment had on her productivity and overall job satisfaction.

It’s a powerful reminder that respect and inclusivity are not just moral imperatives but also critical to organizational success.

Addressing Bias and Respect

Kim stressed the importance of addressing bias directly and respectfully in the workplace.

"Bias is a pattern and we as human beings are pattern makers. You want to create kind of a shared vocabulary for what are you going to say if you notice bias in a conversation."

She also touched on the unrealistic notion of avoiding sensitive topics like race, religion, or politics at work.

"We don't talk about race, religion, or politics at work. And my father had told me the same thing, and we both kind of agreed, you know, that didn't work. Not talking about it. It's not realistic."

Kim emphasized that these conversations are unavoidable and necessary.

She shared a story about a former colleague who advised her to conduct an experiment to see if her team felt comfortable pushing back against her ideas. The result? No one did, confirming that even well-intentioned leaders can create environments where bias goes unchecked.

She discussed practical steps for leaders to address bias, such as creating a shared vocabulary and ensuring there are clear, respectful ways for team members to call out bias when they see it. This proactive approach helps build a culture where everyone feels valued and respected.

Tackling Workplace Bullying

Another significant point Kim made was about handling workplace bullying.

"It's important that you learn how as leaders to shut down bullying in conversations, to create conversational consequences."

Kim shared her thoughts on the necessity of having clear policies and consequences for bullying. She stressed the importance of addressing bullying head-on and creating an environment where such behavior is not tolerated.

"Bullying on a team is damaging. It may help the person who is doing the bullying to get some results, but it hurts everybody else's effort. So it does more harm than good."

Kim explained that effective anti-bullying strategies should include conversational consequences (addressing the behavior immediately), compensation consequences (reflecting the behavior in performance reviews and bonuses), and career consequences (impacting promotions and, if necessary, terminations).

This comprehensive approach ensures that bullying is addressed from all angles and reinforces the importance of maintaining a respectful workplace.

There were tons of great, actionable takeaways throughout this episode so I highly recommend listening prepared to take notes.

Her insights and experiences provide a valuable framework for anyone looking to improve their leadership skills and foster a positive workplace culture.

As we navigate this current polarized political and social climate, we all can learn to embrace radical respect.

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