Radical Care and Connection: A Framework for Justice Across Generations

Radical Care and Connection: A Framework for Building Justice Across Generations

Dear Community,

As Black queer and trans individuals, we navigate a world built on systems of oppression, extraction, and harm. But we also carry the power to create something new—a world rooted in justice, care, and interdependence. This framework is a tool for reflection and action, designed to help us build systems of care that uplift everyone, especially future generations.

This isn’t just about survival; it’s about creating a world where everyone thrives. It’s about addressing codependency, healing our relationships with ourselves and each other, and building the capacity to be present in revolution. It’s about deconditioning from colonization, capitalism, ableism, fatphobia, anti-Blackness, racism, and patriarchy so we can fight back individually and collectively. It’s about recovering ourselves, our ancestors, and our land from these systems.

1. How Do We Handle Conflict?

Conflict is natural, but how we handle it can either harm or heal. Teaching children (and ourselves) that conflict isn’t bad but an opportunity for growth is a radical act.

Reflect and Act:

Model Healthy Responses: How do you react to conflict? Do you shut down, get angry, or approach it with curiosity? Kids learn from watching us. Practice pausing, breathing, and responding calmly.

Name Harm Without Blame: Teach kids to say, “I felt hurt when this happened,” instead of blaming. This helps everyone take responsibility without shame.

Repair relationships: Show kids how to apologize and make amends. For example, “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings. How can I make it right?”

Addressing Codependency:

Codependency often stems from systems that teach us to prioritize others’ needs over our own. Healing involves setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and recognizing that our worth is not tied to how much we can give.

Harm Reduction and Healing:

Harm reduction is about meeting people where they are, without judgment. It’s about recognizing that substances or coping mechanisms often arise from systemic harm and offering compassion instead of punishment.

Try This:

Use role-playing to practice conflict resolution. For example, act out sharing toys or solving a disagreement.

Create a “conflict toolkit” with tools like feeling charts or prompts like “I feel ___ when ___.” Ensure the toolkit is accessible with visual aids, tactile objects, or other supports.

2. What Does Emotional Support Look Like?

Emotional support is essential for everyone, but many of us struggle to ask for help or even recognize our feelings. Teaching kids (and ourselves) that it’s okay to need support is a powerful step.

Reflect and Act:

Name your feelings: Start by identifying your emotions. Use simple words like happy, sad, angry, or scared. Kids can use feeling charts or drawings to do the same.

Ask for Help: Practice saying, “I need support with ___.” Teach kids to do the same by modeling it yourself.

Offer Support Without Overgiving: Show kids how to care for others without neglecting themselves. For example, “I can listen to you for 10 minutes, then I need a break.”

The Erotic as Power:

The erotic is not just about sexuality; it’s about the life force that connects us to joy, creativity, and purpose. When we honor the erotic within ourselves and others, we create spaces where emotional support flows freely and authentically.

Navigating Suicidality:

Systemic failures often leave us feeling isolated and hopeless. It’s crucial to create spaces where people can express their pain without judgment. Teach kids (and remind ourselves) that it’s okay to say, “I’m not okay,” and to seek help.

Try This:

Use storytelling to teach emotional awareness. Share stories where characters ask for and receive help.

Practice “rest as resistance.” Teach kids that rest is not laziness but a way to care for themselves and others. Create sensory-friendly spaces for rest, like cozy corners with soft lighting and quiet tools.

3. What Are We Actually Available For?

Capitalism teaches us to always do more, but honoring our limits is an act of resistance. Kids need to learn that saying “no” is okay, and so do we.

Reflect and Act:

Check Your Capacity: Ask yourself, “What can I realistically handle today?” Teach kids to do the same by asking, “Do you feel full of energy or need a break?”

Set boundaries: Practice saying “no” kindly but firmly. For example, “I can’t help with that right now, but I can tomorrow.”

Share Responsibilities: Involve kids in age-appropriate tasks, like cooking or cleaning, to show that care is a shared effort.

Rest as Liberation:

Rest is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. It’s a way to reclaim our time, energy, and humanity from systems that demand constant productivity. Teach kids that rest is sacred and that their worth is not tied to what they can produce.

Spirituality and resilience:

Spiritual practices can help us navigate the weight of systemic failures. Whether through ancestral rituals, communal singing, or quiet reflection, these practices remind us that we are part of something greater than ourselves.

Try This:

Create family or community agreements about responsibilities. For example, “We all help with meals on weekends.” Ensure tasks are adaptable to different energy levels and abilities.

Play “yes/no” games to help kids practice setting boundaries.

Co-Creating New Dynamics Across Generations

The current systems—capitalism, domination, and individualism—harm us all. But by learning from Black liberatory practices, we can build a better world.

Strategies for Collective Liberation:

Anti-Oppression Education: Teach kids about fairness and justice in simple terms. For example, “We share because everyone deserves to have enough.”

Joy as Resistance: Create spaces for joy, like playtime or art projects, to affirm our identities and resist systems that try to erase us. Ensure these spaces are accessible and inclusive.

Mutual Aid Projects: Involve kids in acts of collective care, like making care packages or cooking meals for others.

Accountability and Collective Care:

Accountability is a cornerstone of collective care. It’s about showing up for each other, even when it’s hard, and committing to repair when harm occurs. This builds trust and strengthens our communities.

Navigating Suicidality Together:

Systemic failures can make life feel unbearable, but we can create networks of care that remind us we are not alone. Teach kids (and remind ourselves) that reaching out for help is an act of courage.

Try This:

Start a small mutual aid project in your community, like a free pantry or clothing swap. Involve kids in organizing and running it, ensuring it’s accessible to all.

Host a community circle to discuss a challenge or conflict using practices like listening without interruption and seeking collective solutions.

An Invitation to Build Together

This framework is a starting point for creating systems of care that challenge oppression and empower future generations. Let’s:

Reflect on these questions with the people in your life.

Share your ideas and stories for building a culture of care.

Collaborate to create spaces where everyone—young and old, disabled and neurodivergent—can thrive.

By teaching kids and ourselves how to care for themselves and others, we can dismantle harmful systems and build something new. Together, we can create a world rooted in justice, collective care, and liberation—a world that leaves no one behind.

With love, solidarity, and hope,

Po Kimani