The Race

"You didn't get this far to only go this far." -Ben Alldis

When I was 15 my mother sent me to a prep school in Oklahoma City called Casady. I did not know how to study, was a bit lazy and was totally ‘taken’ with playing jazz on a trumpet with a small band. My mother was a concert pianist so you’d think she could appreciate my love of the trumpet, but her assessment was now at the age where I needed to learn how to study. “Ben, you need to get on with ‘making something of yourself.”’ My dad was gone from their nasty divorce when I was six, so I wasn’t going into his business: May Brothers Clothing Company.? Casady was for very bright, rich kids and I was neither. I was the only Jew in the school which had its own stigma resulting in ‘meeting the lockers’ with my head from time to time thanks to the class bully.?That first year can best be described as stark terror, only to subside on the last day of the last hour of the last class. Every Monday morning, I would lie on the couch in the front room of our house dressed in a tie and jacket for 8 AM chapel shaking like a leaf, begging my mother to send me to the local public school-John Marshall-and out of Casady. “If you can just make it until Friday and you still feel the same way I’ll get you into John Marshall.” She said.?

My confidence was higher by Friday, so I just stayed with it. After that first year, I was learning how to study, and my grades improved.

Pride's Inner Glow

Things began to look brighter.?

I began to have real pride in being a Casady student, so much so that I wanted to ‘letter’ in sports so I could wear that pride as a letter jacket. I got on the cross-country team and one of my best friends, Chris Carey, was the captain of the team. Chris became my best friend because he accepted me when very few did.?He was just that kind of guy. Chris accepted people as they were, and he had the most kind, charming approach to everyone, regardless of their station in life. I was not the best runner, but Chris was. He ran like a thoroughbred. I never saw anyone love to run so much. Seriously, he ran like Eric Liddel in Chariots of Fire. Chris was a fun-loving guy. He could light up a room, worked hard in class. But when it came to running, Chris was transported to a different place. He did fine with his studies depending on the subject, but when it came to running…he was transformed into a natural leader: confident, calm, and measured with an intuitive understanding of how to win cross country races, and he loved it. His entire demeanor changed when he led the team running: all business, focused and serious. There is something utterly amazing when observing someone who knows his or her ‘craft.’ In our junior year we went to conference in Houston at Rice University. Chris said to me: “Ben, I’m going to win this conference.” He was that confident in his running ability. “When I win, the whole team will letter. So, the only thing you need to do is just run as fast as you can.”?

I followed Chris’ directions to the letter. I started to run and run...and run.?

As I ran I noticed that nobody was around me. I didn’t know if I was ahead or behind, but it did not matter because I knew if Chris said he would win then I would letter. That simple fact imbued me with the obsession to run ?faster and faster.?I felt as free as a bird one minute and like a running machine the next. I almost sprinted two miles until I passed out as I crossed the finish line. It was my fastest time. Chris was correct. He did win and we all lettered.?

The Lesson I Learned

So, here is the lesson Chris taught me, and I carried it with me for the rest of my life. When Chris told me I would letter I had two choices. I could have taken it easy, knowing I’d already ‘made it’ thanks to Chris, or just lumber along because I knew Chris would win and I would letter. That was not my thought at all. I was so enthusiastic that I ‘had it in the bag’ that I ran even faster. I’m not sure why I had this attitude, but I did. It had to do with not having anyone around me.

The idea of being on my own stimulated me to ever greater heights of accomplishment in my life.?Most important, my friend, Chris was doing it to win and for the team. I don’t even know if Chris thought so much about winning as much as just running. Thinking about it now it was like Forrest Gump: “run Forrest-run!”

After that race I pursued things in my career that would set me apart from others, always in my own “lane,” a bit “intrapreneurial” you might say. The other thing was that the higher the accomplishment the more it stimulated me to go ever higher, just like in the race with Chris leading the way.

?Now, the few times I was in a competitive situation where I had to perform among my peers I would shut down. I made sure to leave those situations. Maybe I was so competitive that I just wanted my own thing, or I was terrified of failing. Probably a bit of both. Happily, this kind of approach is what marketers call ‘positioning’ and ‘brand differentiation’ but I didn’t know that at the time. It just seemed like a natural and much more psychologically comfortable approach to me. Plus, it was new, creative, and more exciting. Like blazing your own trail…like running alone.?

When I got to Disney, I had two direct leaders in my 18-year career there. Each of them zeroed in immediately on this quirk I had. Typical of Disney leadership, they just let me ‘do my thing’ like never before, supporting me every step of the way. That confidence and freedom yielded half a billion dollars to the company. I’m very appreciative of my time there and the people who supported me with that race.?

Here is another thing I learned from my friend, Chris., Chris struggled in certain subjects. He and I were in the same German class. As he read the German lessons aloud he agonizingly struggled through every word. But, in the end, he mastered it. He never gives up. Chris wanted to be a doctor, but he had a tough time getting into medical school. So, after he got his BS undergraduate, he got an MS in physics. He still could not get into medical school, so he got a PhD in science. Finally at the age of 36 he got into medical school. He became one of the most prominent thoracic surgeons in Oklahoma becoming the director of a large hospital in Oklahoma City before he retired a few years ago. I am so proud of him. You would love the guy. Incredibly fun loving, still into all kinds of sports. Travels the world fly fishing.?

The point of this story is this quirky motivation that helped propel me forward from a simple race when I was 16. Still can’t figure it out but who cares??

I owe it all to my friend, Chris Carey...Dr. Chris Carey

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