Race in America Part I - The Workplace is the Perfect Place to Discuss the Undiscussables

“Call the people of color you know and ask them how they are doing.”

That’s what Margaret did with me and others in her circle of friends and colleagues. And it made a difference. I was feeling isolated, angry, sad, frustrated and resigned by the dearth of recognition of what it might feel like to be wearing my cocoa-brown skin during this recent wave of racially turbulent times. The streets burned in response to a televised lynching of an unarmed, handcuffed George Floyd in Minneapolis, and in my hometown of Manhattan, an almost Emmitt Till redux in Central Park with Amy Cooper and Chris Cooper were it not for a cell phone capturing the exchange. And yet…silence.

Until Margaret called.

“Gina, I’ve been thinking about you and wanted to hear your voice. What is going on in the world?” And that’s where Margaret left it. She held the space open for me to share my feelings. Because of this we were able to also fill that space with memories of some difficult but ultimately healing conversations she and I previously had about race at an earlier time in our friendship.

It’s Like Death

I grew up in a white neighborhood and had mostly white friends during childhood. Today I still live in a predominately white town and work mostly around white people. “You’re the only white person of the many in my circle who reached out to me,” I told Margaret.

“People don’t know how to talk about racism,” she replied. “It’s like death. What do you say? How do you say it? Sometimes all that is needed is for you to listen and hold their hand.”

And, for me, that opened a door. Through it came experiences I’d not shared before. Because of the color of my skin, I chose not to accept the offer of a friend to enter her home when she wasn’t there to pick up an item she left for me. Although she lived in an exclusive neighborhood where she felt comfortable enough to leave her door unlocked I told my white friend, “Uh, sure, I’ll do that if you tell all your neighbors what I look like, what time I’ll be coming and not to call the police when I stroll into your house.”

She said, “Oh my God, Gina, that never occurred to me.”

Of course it didn’t occur to my friend. That’s not the world she lives in. Margaret, by simply listening to me as I shared this and other painful experiences over the decades, I was able to breathe more easily than I had in days.

I’m not laying the deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, Tony McDade and Breonna Taylor at Margaret’s feet or any of my other white friends and colleagues. But neither will I accept the race-baiting rhetoric that the struggles of black and brown people in America are entirely of our own making, that all we need do is have the right mindset, pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, work hard and we’ll prosper. If that was the true prerequisite for black and brown people to succeed, then why did Amy Cooper reflexively weaponize the police against a gainfully employed bird watcher? Because the foundation of the United States was consciously and deliberately built on a system of economic oppression and enforced by institutionalized violence.

‘I Don’t Know’ is a Great Place to Start

Margaret, I know one of your nieces asked you, “I want to help but I don’t know how.”

Well, “I don’t know” is a great place to start. It says you don’t come with an agenda, that you’re open to possibilities. So after some talk, heart searching and researching, Margaret and I offer four concrete steps she and you can take:

1. Educate Yourself - On the facts of current events and the history of race in America. As renowned author and former presidential candidate Marianne Williamson writes,

“It is not my belief or my experience that the average American is a racist. It’s not. But I do think that the average American is woefully undereducated about the history of race in the United States.”

So when people in your circle say, “Yes, the murder of George Floyd was awful, but it doesn’t justify more violence,” understand that they are conflating the legitimate, peaceful, constitutionally protected right to protest with the behavior of common thieves. In part, this reflects how black and brown people have been, and continue to be grossly misrepresented in the mainstream media. Much has been written about this. If you want to make a difference, educate yourself on the facts.

2. Find Your Voice - When you find yourself in a group of only white people and someone misrepresents facts or remarks disparagingly about people of color as though we are a homogenous block – we’re no more all alike than are white people – if that’s not okay with you, then say something. You needn’t pick fights or blow up friendships but know that silence is complicity. The intent here is not for you to necessarily change hearts and minds. The intent is for you to be an active ally.

3. Use Your Curiosity and Courage - Thirty years ago, the late Harvard Professor Chris Argyris wrote about discussing the undiscussables in his book Overcoming Organizational Defenses. There are all kinds of undiscussables and race is one of them. Talking about race and social injustices is not easy. It begins with real conversations with real people. Use your curiosity and courage to engage in substantive conversations with your friends, family and coworkers about race. Like anything you try for the first time you will make mistakes like we have, but that is how we learn and grow.

4. Use the Workplace - One of the many powerful systems in this country and around the world, to bring about substantive change. The workplace is where you can use your eyes, ears and voice to advocate for equal compensation, equal development opportunities, and equal representation in leadership positions. Change doesn’t happen overnight. It begins with awareness. At the next meeting you have this week look around the conference table, virtual or not, and just notice. Notice who is there and more importantly notice who is not. Then go back to #2. Many companies, including one of the Top Fortune 5 (yes 5, that is not a typo), Aetna - a CVS Health Company, are actively engaging employees and leadership in dialogues about race and making substantive changes.

Call to Action

What’s one small action you will commit to today to break down the walls of racism and build a bridge instead? Use your curiosity and courage to get a discussion going here by asking a question, recommending a book or article on this topic, or simply sharing your own thoughts or experiences below.

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By Gina Greenlee* and Margaret H. Greenberg*. Gina and Margaret first met when Gina hired Margaret to lead a strategic planning session for her former employer, The Hartford Courant. That was more than two decades ago. The client/consultant relationship blossomed into a close friendship. This is the first in a series of articles about racism in America. We launched this series on race and racism in America today, June 19th, in honor of Juneteenth. Juneteenth is the oldest nationally celebrated commemoration of the ending of slavery in the United States. 

Postscript 2/9/21: Thanks to LinkedIn followers like you, your interest in our #raceintheworkplace series has led to a book deal with McGraw-Hill. The Business of Race will be released in August 2021. A big shout-out to Jill Marsal and Amy Li for believing that one black and one white woman have something compelling to share about creating and sustaining an antiracist workplace. Follow our new page, The Business of Race, here on LinkedIn, where we publish additional race resources. If you have a race article or resource you would like us to share or want to be the first to know when The Business of Race can be pre-ordered, please message us.