"There is a rabbit under my desk!"

This week a rabbit hopped into the house while I was presenting at work. I had to stop speaking to the leaders I was presenting to for a few seconds, and ask someone to remove the rabbit that had visited from the garden.

If I wasn’t secure in being vulnerable and showing the real ‘Laura’ I wouldn't be able to permit myself to talk about the small things and needs of the world around me- my stepdaughter and the fact she’d let her rabbit hop into my office space.

Why am I sharing this? Studies have shown that people who are comfortable with being vulnerable make for stronger and more fluid people in life and achieve more in their careers. What is even more interesting is that leaders that encourage vulnerability have more successful teams, more fulfilled team members and are viewed as more professional bringing their authentic selves to work.

Years ago, when I started my career I was scared to ever mix ‘personal life’ with ‘work life’ - but as I studied the effects of hiding the details of your personal life in work, and the way that many people before me were taught to feel shame if they needed to take time off to drive a child to school late, or have to tell their boss they had a sick kid and couldn’t work… The list goes on…

Brene Brown wrote a book purely on this topic ‘Rising Strong’ about failure and redirecting the way ‘shame’ makes us feel as well as how to reconnect with your emotions when waters are choppy.

Interestingly in her book, Brene talks about the fact that years ago she wrote herself a permission slip to make mistakes, be goofy, and be authentic when seen as a leader, world-famous writer and world-famous TED Talk speaker, the fact that even Brene needed to do this speaks volumes of the societal pressure that affects all of us.

But what is hugely interesting to me is that Brene describes vulnerability and authenticity as the most important factor and at the root of human connection are those two things. Without human connection what do we have? But sadly this is often dramatically missing from workplaces.

What fascinated me and why I decided to start reading about human connection, vulnerability and authenticity in more detail this weekend is whilst driving listening to Brene’s book, I wondered, why is a human connection missing at work? Yes, we are in the middle of a global pandemic, but we’ve never been more ‘connected’ digitally.

I mentor a lot of people, in the last year I’ve done over 550 pro-bono hours of mentoring and one of the things that comes up all the time is insecurity about what our leaders think of the people I mentor, how people don’t ask about the happiness or satisfaction of employees now living through a global-pandemic is seen as the norm, and people are expected in some cases to work as if it’s over and normal life has resumed. This is not the case for 70-80% of the people I mentor, with kids isolated due to covid being in school bubbles, mothers, fathers having to home-school and work, the empathy appears to have disappeared.

In the workplace, some leaders set the tone that employees are often taught to keep a distance and project a certain image- vulnerability to not be a part of this. I asked the people that I mentor how they felt about the image they were expected to portray, an image of confidence, competence and authority.

Vulnerability builds trust and elevates performance

Brené has deeply explored shame and vulnerability throughout her research for the book, and I would give it a listen or read to understand the depth of her knowledge.

Her work explains that we all struggle with things but sharing them is not a sign of weakness, it’s actually an incredibly powerful way to build trust.

Brene says:

Vulnerability is led by example

As a leader in fundraising and technology, I want to always lead with compassion and empathy as well as determination and competition. But, the vulnerability affects the way I think and lead - I? know that I have to be willing to be vulnerable to create trust in our workplace, and understand that I don’t always have all the answers, make mistakes (I’m human) and that sometimes I just can’t do it all.

One of the first things that inspired me to think about the vulnerability at a young age and trusting deeply when I was about 14/15 years old was the poem by Yeats… it’s my absolute favourite and it used to hang in every office or sit on every desk- I need to get a new one since I gave the last one to someone I hired.

The poem is The Cloths of Heaven by W.B Yeats:

The reason I’ve always loved this poem is the fact that it’s about bringing everything you are to the table, even though you understand that there is a risk that someone could try and harm you, belittle you, or be unkind when you’re trying to achieve your potential or best.

That's what I look for in people I hire. The vulnerability to come into a situation not knowing it all, but with the open heart and mind to try, fail and succeed.

A CEO once said to me years ago, that ‘It can be lonely at the top, which is why I lead with vulnerability when I don’t always know the answer or get it right...

A leader should be someone you look up to, and that has stuck with me since she set this as an example and leadership style. She was one of the most successful, entrepreneurial and wonderful people I’ve worked with.

She mixed elements of personal and professional and set a beautiful example to all of us aspiring leaders those years ago when I was battling with people knowing I had many spinning plates as a young mom to 2 boys and building a career at the same time.

What I ask of you, if you’ve read this article, thank you! As I sit here on a sunny, hot Saturday afternoon drafting ideas and thoughts, I want to ask that you have one conversation about being vulnerable as a leader and what that means to you with someone on your team.

Also, please recommend my next read or audiobook. I try to get through at least one book a week on my daily walks/drives and thrive off learning new things!

With gratitude,

Laura