Rabbit Holes & Failing Well

I want to write about failures, even though it is a topic most of us don’t like to read about. But there is such beauty and wisdom in failing well, that we must learn to embrace, and it could be as satisfying as success itself.

I will not wallow in self-pity, nor boast on the survival stories. This writing is neither meant to instruct, nor to inspire, but nonetheless, of great value. I write about my failures as another observation on life, which is an interesting reflection, and hopefully for you, my readers, and interesting read too.

I am past my mid-thirties and have already failed in so many endeavours, to various extents, in many aspects of my life — my professional career, my entrepreneurial efforts, my personal relationships, friendships and relationship with myself. None of these failures have made me give up on life and what really matters. Although some setbacks are admittedly harder to recover from. One of my business failures had caused me to be substantially in debt, which required more than two years of hard work and austerity measures to be financially healthy again. On the personal front, I have lost 5 years to recover from a failed relationship which was largely my own doing (which caused enormous guilt that was a major part of the recovery problem), and many other good years to relationships which had failed one way or another. But nothing has stopped me from picking myself up and trying again. It was just a matter of time.

My most recent failure was an underwhelming violin performance on stage at a music event I’ve organized with friends for friends. Despite my best efforts at practising and rehearsing while juggling work, I was not able to deliver a satisfactory performance. Perhaps I had picked a challenging repertoire and pushed myself over the edge a little bit too much, and was underprepared. Failures are not excused. So putting my excuses aside, I was disappointed at myself and publicly embarrassed. If the stage had a hole then, I would have buried myself there the whole night.

Yet I did something that surprised even myself that night. After my lousy performance while still standing in the spotlight, I looked at the audience, took a bow, apologized and told them that I will do better next time. My supportive audience cheered me on loudly. At that moment, I realised that I was no longer afraid of failures, and I have learnt how to fail well.

I marvelled at how quickly I could recover from that dark hole of fear, shame and embarrassment. What used to take me a month or a week, only required a few minutes for me to manage and a good sleep to snap out from self-blame. I realize how I genuinely appreciate experiences of failures, for the learnings and the resilience they bring us, which are bringing us closer to our successes.

Professionally and otherwise, I am no longer afraid of being wrong. I am much better at facing my mistakes honestly, addressing them quickly and effectively, then move on with enjoying life. I have a more solid esteem of myself, my strengths and weaknesses, and a self-acceptance that is supported from deep love from within. I don’t struggle to survive a day out of fear anymore, but striving every moment out of love for myself and life. While my days are not all rainbows and butterflies, I am truly appreciating and grateful for every experience that comes my way.

Failing well is, in fact, one of the enlightening experiences I have had.

While I wish you only success in whatever you want to achieve, just?remember that even if you fail, fail well, and all’s well that ends well.

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Disclaimer:?The content of this article is informational only. Nothing in this note shall constitute legal, investment or professional advice.

Read?my other publications on:

LinkedIn:?Let’s Talk About Governance;?The Social Aspects of ESG — Where Every Organization Finds a Soul;?Carbon Credits — Quality Matters;?On Greenwashing: Greenwashing Behaviours to Avoid as an Organization;?Why I Still Believe in Blockchain;?Chat GPT is Not Your Best Friend Yet — and Here is Why;?Living a Colourful Life;?Carbon Taxes & Credits — An Introduction;?3 Reasons Why Every Business Should Incorporate Sustainability;?Master of None — Reflections on Tips to Becoming a Successful Generalist;The Fool-Proof Guide to Setting up an ESG Framework & Policy for Businesses, Investors and Investment Managers, Part 1 of 5;?Gone with the Red — Ep.1;My footprints 2022;

Medium:?Let’s Talk About Governance;?The Social Aspects of ESG — Every Organization Needs a Soul;?Carbon Credits — Quality Matters;?On Greenwashing: Greenwashing Behaviours to Avoid as an Organization;?Why I Still Believe in Blockchain;Chat GPT is Not Your Best Friend Yet — and Here is Why;?Living a Colourful Life;?Carbon Taxes & Credits — An Introduction;?3 Reasons Why Every Business Should Incorporate Sustainability;?Master of None — 3 Key Tips to Success as a Generalist; The Fool-Proof Guide to Setting up an ESG Framework & Policy for Businesses, Investors and Investment Managers, Part 1 of 5;?Gone with the Red — Ep.1;?My Footprints 2022;?More than Just Words — embracing a greener life