This R U Ok?Day share your story... because you never know who might need to hear it.

Tomorrow, September 10, is R U Ok? Day and I don't think there's ever been a year when this day is needed as much as it is now in 2020. What a year we have had?! No-one could anyone could have predicted the enormous ripple effect Covid-19 has had on almost every aspect of our day to day lives and across every corner of the world.

I remember first hearing about this thing called Corona earlier this year when my family and I had just returned from a big overseas holiday. We really didn't have any idea what it was and even when I first heard of a case in my local area in the Netherlands, where we living at the time, I still didn't have any concept of how we would be impacted. As it quickly became clear that this was in fact a monstrous global pandemic one of my first thoughts, along with not knowing where we were going to live and what work we'd be able to get, was the worry of the inevitable effect on so many people's mental health. I thought immediately of those living in violent situations and the escape work would usually offer them, and of the most vulnerable of society; the health workers, elderly, those with pre-existing conditions and those without support around them. I didn't know then the impact COVID-19 would have on the world we live in, but I knew that it would likely effect the mental health of most people in one way or the other.. and with no end in sight it's so difficult to know the long lasting effects this is all going to have on us.

The Black Dog Institute released a piece earlier this year on the 'Mental Health Ramifications of Covid-19: The Australian Context' and in it they state that 'Common consequences of disease outbreaks include anxiety and panic, depression, anger, confusion and uncertainty, and financial stress, with estimates of between 25% to 33% of the community experiencing high levels of worry and anxiety during similar pandemics'. I'm sure for most of us if we listed those emotions and whether we had felt them at some time this year, each one would have a tick by them. Panic? Yes, definitely. Depression? Anger? Confusion? Uncertainty? Financial Stress?... For me, it's a yes to all of the above. 

My personal journey with mental health was triggered initially by a work situation and the global financial crisis of 2008, and thus always somewhat connected to my career. And now due to COVID, like many others I find myself without a job, well… not one that looks anything remotely like what I'm used to. Although there have been many times over the years when not working seemed very appealing now that I'm here and life is very, very different to what it was six months ago, I have been surprised at how much I have absolutely struggled with the loss of identity and how much of my identity was linked to what I did for work. And then it hit me that this feeling of a loss of identity is likely happening to thousands of people right now. Whether they've lost their job due to Covid, have been forced to change careers completely, have taken on additional study to broaden their skillset, or even if that means just working from home a lot more than they ever have before… in one way or another a part of every one of our lives has been affected, and therefore something that makes up our identity has changed.

I've always been passionate about my career but since becoming a parent I've also always thought that if offered the chance to stay home and just be mum that I'd take it and embrace it… but actually it's not as simple as that. I haven't loved it. I love my girls with every ounce of my being but I also know that to be the best mum I can for them I need another purpose outside of parenting. Not having a clear career path right now fills me with anxiety to no end and often I feel lost, completely overwhelmed and so unsure about who I am, what I have to offer and I worry about the contribution I'm making to society, or lack thereof. I'm sure this is the case for so many others that have had what they do impacted by this pandemic and I share how I'm feeling to help others, who might be feeling a similar way, know that they're not alone. I guess if ever there was one binding positive to come out of all this, and something that helps me feel better, is the knowing that we are all in it together. We're all living it. Some of us are affected so much more, or less, than others and of course those effects for some are completely devastating.. But whatever is happening for you is very, very likely to be happening to someone else out there too… and that has to help in some way.

The only thing is, unless we share our stories how will people know that they're not alone? A friend recently noted to me that life looked great and idillic for me at the moment.. And yes in some ways it is… but please don't ever take what's shown on social media as everything's rosy and life's a dream. The reality is very different for me, and is for most people I'm sure. So.. my point is… ask someone if they're okay today, tomorrow and every day.. and share your story too. Because, someone out there might just need to know that someone else is struggling too, it's not just them and they're not alone, and just knowing that might help them open up and ask for help when they might not have otherwise.

 So what's your story and who can you share it with?