R U OK

Earlier this year I was having a discussion with my husband and I asked him if he thought the same way I did. If he worried about certain things in the same way and if those thoughts ever stopped him doing things.

He said he did not and that perhaps that I needed to talk to someone about what I was thinking.

A few weeks later, after deciding I was just tired, busy, a bit stressed and that I didn’t need any help, I was driving to visit a friend overnight. I got to the freeway junction and almost turned around because I started to think about all the things that could possibly happen on the way. All the things that could happen to my family while I was away, or to me on way there.

When I got home, after visiting my friend, I told my husband and again said, you really should see someone.

So, I went to see a councillor, who after talking through the way I was feeling told me I was suffering from anxiety and gave me some techniques to manage it.

It turns many of the thoughts I thought were normal or were caused by a lack of sleep or a bit of stress were symptoms of anxiety. And what I thought were causes of the way I was feeling were actually the symptoms.

It was affecting my life, and it still does, and some days are worse than others. But those “bad” days are a lot less than the good days. I also have tools to manage those bad days and I am more aware of the things that affect me. I have also learnt about self-care and taking time to be mindful. I have gone back to swimming, which I find hugely beneficial, as it is not only energy giving it is also a time when I can think about very little other than the rhythm of the water and my breathing.

Anxiety, depression and mental health issues can affect anyone at any time. On the outside I come across as a confident and as someone who has it all together. But the truth was I needed help and it took someone on the outside to make me realise I did.

So, don’t think you asking your friend, your colleague, your sister or your brother if they are ok, will not matter, or is just another token gesture. You could be the person that makes them realise that they aren’t or the person that they open up to.

But don’t just do it today, make it regular and encourage your friends, your family and those around you to talk about how they are feeling. It is important we all feel supported and know that when we are not ok, there are things that can be done to help.

So R U OK?