R U OK?

It just takes one question, two minutes of your time, and three simple words to start a potentially life-changing conversation. 

R U OK? Day is very close to my heart. When I was 32-years-old my father committed suicide, and it has no doubt deeply affected me and was unquestionably the darkest day of my life. Sharing this pain with the Icon team several years ago was one of my hardest decisions as a leader. I contemplated if it was the right thing to do, but I realised I had to share this heartache, because if my own experiences could have the power to help someone, then the least I could do was share my story. Helping others avoid the pain of suicide is something I think of often.

Since that time, so many of our iconic people have reached out to me with their own stories and struggles, many devastatingly heartbreaking. This open communication and deeply personal connection was evidential proof we shouldn’t hide our demons in the shadows. On R U OK? Day I ask you to take a minute and reach out to a colleague, family member or friend because now more than ever we need to look out for one another. As we continue to fight the invisible enemy of COVID-19 we are increasingly aware of uncertainty. Many are feeling more fatigued and more stressed and depression is rising among communities world-wide. Thousands across the world mourn for their loved ones lost to the disease and every day tragedies of all magnitudes can strike in those we hold dear, and in our own fragile lives.

Ongoing restrictions and necessary lockdowns has kept us physically apart but we are lucky to have ways to continue meaningful connections. My mum is safe at home in Ballarat but she’s by herself and similarly my brothers are in Melbourne and at the moment unable to visit her. I call mum daily and we have an active family WhatsApp chat which allows us to stay in touch at any hour of the day. In many ways this unfortunate situation has brought us closer. We’ve shared fond family memories, laughed over memorable and uncensored Zoom calls and been reminded of how much we need each other.

This increased connection has been reflected across the Icon network. Together we’ve connected over email, phone, video conferences, virtual morning teas and social media. We’ve shared our struggles, celebrated milestones and been iconic each step of the way. Our leaders have supported their teams in new ways - holding online trivia sessions, giving out homemade masks, saying thanks through our virtual rewards and recognition board and dressing up as heroes to work. Our people have been there for one another when they need it the most. They’ve dialled up the notch on their passion for caring and continue to extend a helping hand to our patients and colleagues a like, always.

Every day I wish dad was still here, to share in more memories, to know his grandchildren and be part of the ups and downs of our lives. If I had my time again, I’d ask are you okay more often, I’d start more conversations, and form an even greater connection.

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be Kind. Always”

Sometimes the brightest of souls, can be fighting the darkest battles. Mental illness plagues thousands of us - we shouldn’t be afraid to feel vulnerable, it is part of what makes us human. So I ask you to start a conversation; whether it’s picking up the phone and calling a friend, sending a quick text to your family, or providing a colleague with an opportunity to talk in a safe environment - let them know you are an empathetic ear. You might not be able to fix the problem but the smallest of gestures can go a long way. I know sometimes it feels scary to open up or fearful of the unknown, but there is always something we can do – look out for each other, and be kind, always.

Let’s start a conversation that can change a life; let’s make sure that those isolating are not left isolated and let’s be there for one another, always.