R U OK Day?

As you likely know, tomorrow is R U OK Day which is a day to stop and check in with those around you. UNIFIED takes R U OK day as a company-wide ‘tools down’ day because we are committed to supporting our people and their wellbeing. We began this during the pandemic and we see it as an important reminder to stop and check in with those around us, but also to check in on ourselves.?

I’ve always found it really hard to acknowledge when I need help. Part of this comes from my eternally optimistic view of the world and is also often driven by my sense of privilege. I have so much to be grateful for, so how could I possibly not be ok? I am also grateful to have so many amazing people around who support me. Friends, family, my wife, my team, my animals, my psychologist and so many more people help me get out of bed every morning and make me feel ready to tackle the day.?

During the pandemic and the lockdowns in Melbourne, I was writing weekly emails to our company to keep everyone in the loop, and I often shared my thoughts on where my world was at. During this time, I started to share my personal experiences with anxiety. A friend of mine, Tom Larkin, once described anxiety as “creative thought with a negative outcome”. During the dark days of the lockdowns as we attempted to lead our people and our company, this description of anxiety was very relevant. I would spend many afternoons sitting at my desk with pains in my chest, struggling to breathe, as I came to terms with what was actually happening in our world.?

As the world opened up and things returned to normal, so did my mental health. I was travelling again for work, seeing friends and family, and generally just getting back on with it. As we know, humans are social beings, so the freedom a lot of us felt from this reopening and being able to be together again was amazing.

Recently, unfortunately, this anxiety has returned. Part of this has been due to a very busy schedule, but more importantly, over the weekend, my Mum lost a nine-year battle with cancer. That line might have been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to write and it’s difficult to confront this reality. My Mum has been a huge part of my life over the last 39 years and the last nine years have been really tough as we faced the reality that she wasn’t going to be around for forever.?

So when I ask myself today if I’m OK, I have to answer with ‘no’. To quote Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance, I would have to say that “I Am Not OK”. But my immediate reflection is that it is OK to not be OK. And not only is it OK, but it’s important to acknowledge when things are not OK. So although I am going to focus heavily on my family during this time, I am also going to find ways to focus on myself. Allowing time to sit and think. Make time to exercise and eat healthy food, while avoiding alcohol as much as possible. I need to do things that are good for me, and try to find ways to honour my Mum that allow me to process this grief but also move forward in a positive way.

If you’re reading this and want to reach out, please do. Reach out to me or to someone you love. We live in a world that is getting busier by the day and more expectations are piling up on us. But we also live in a world of human connection and, at the end of the day, love is our core language.?

The more we give love, the more we get love.